The First Three-Alarm Diaper

You know they've had a serious poop when you have to change their socks. Bec suffered a little collateral damage but nothing too serious. Quinn seemed to take it all in stride - usually he wails when being changed but possibly he noted the changed tenor of his parents and thought it was best to lay low for a few minutes.

All the uninitiated probably bailed on this post before they started...or read it through gapped fingers like a horror movie. Experienced parents are probably nodding with a certain battle-hardened glee as another set of newbie parents firmly enters the front lines of parenthood. Really, it wasn't all that bad. I'm taking the whole diaper thing much better than I anticipated.

A Productive Day

Grandma Mart came in today to keep Bec company, allowing me time to scrape the ice off the driveway and do some other household chores. A good sleep was had all around last night - 7 hrs for Dave, 4 hrs for Bec. There was still some wailing but we're starting to figure out a few things.

I ventured out to the drugstore yesterday and realized that was the first time I'd gone farther than the front step since Quinn was born last Thursday - a testament to how well we've been looked after by family and friends. All the support and well-wishes has been greatly appreciated. And the privacy :) - having seen some Bringing Baby Home episodes on TLC where new parents are inundated with guests causing more work as opposed to helping, makes me appreciate even more the unobtrusive help and support we have received. We are almost to a point where we'll be anxious to show Quinn off though.

Here's a pic Bec took of Quinn during a quiet time yesterday. As another friend pointed out, all parents are quite rightly biased that their baby is the most beautiful in the world, so how would you tell if your baby really is beautiful? No matter, *I* think he is beautiful :). Er, or is that "handsome".

The Joy of Farting

It is often remarked about babies' first apparent smile that "or they might just have gas". Well just possibly passing gas is the first truly smile-worthy thing to happen in a newborn's life. As it is with farting, so it is with life, I suppose - first the grimace, then the grin; a sort of flatulatory yin and yang. The grimace-causing pain of a newborn's gas yields to the grin of its uninhibited and unselfconscious expulsion. As we morph into adulthood the pain too morphs, from physical to social, but the pleasure persists, however guilty. It is a basic pleasure of life that knows no age limit, that requires no "stuff" to appreciate, and that transcends all cultures, means and abilities.

It even has its philosophical connotations. Having viewed it through the eyes of my new son, I see life lessons in facing all-consuming pain, dispatching it with as much vigour as can be mustered, and then putting it firmly behind you, so to speak. There are also life parallels in having others help you clean up any remaining mess. And after it all, there is the grin-worthy satisfaction of having made it through it all and appreciating the ensuing peace.

I always wanted to write something poetic about farting :)

Quinn Goes Outside (Bec too)

Oh how such mundane things become momentous all over again! Bec has been second-floor-bound with her stitches, but today was sunny and warm (0 degrees) so we ventured downstairs and out onto the front deck to catch some rays. Hopefully the fresh cold air and sunshine will help out everyone's circadian rhythms. Quinn is in the Winter '06 Teddy Bear Snowsuit; Rebecca wears a number from the the '93 Orange Fleece Collection (her sister's favourite) with the now-happily-oversized maternity coat.

Quinn had his first book reading today too - On Beyond Zebra by Dr. Seuss. Given his disinterested look I'd guess he thought the plot was a little thin.

Hopefully those events will help us put another brutal night's sleep behind us.

Night One

Night one was a rough one. Quinn was inconsolable. We had no idea what he was trying to tell us, but he was telling us for 5 hours straight at volume level 11. We were basket cases. We thought we were failures. We thought we were killing him. We phoned Telehealth on an unfortunately busy night and it would 1.5 hrs before they phoned back. We paged our midwife and she phoned back very shortly - thankfully - about 430AM.

She said he was probably hungry and we were in the unfortunate interval where the colostrum wasn't quite enough and the milk hadn't come in yet, but to point him at the boob often and don't be afraid to sleep with him in our bed if that was the only way he'd settle. After 27 verses of "Sweet Virginia" on guitar, he finally settled enough to fall asleep on Bec's chest, and off to bed we went. With regular boob intervals for Quinn, we managed to get fitful sleep off an on for about 5 hours. We had all survived.

It was harrowing, but a valuable learning experience. I liken it to the time when my house and Bec's cats became our house and our cats. At first they hid in the basement for weeks, but after that they ventured out a bit at a time, exploring, and retreated to their safe haven in the basement whenever they freaked themselves out. In our case, it was our first night, we were freaked out and we didn't have that safe place to retreat to. But we still survived it, developed a plan to deal with it, and as I write this two days later, the last two nights have gone much better.

I will also recommend the "Dunston Baby Language" dvd's, which purports to educate you on what your baby's different cries mean, with 5 different "words" they utter, representing hungry, tired, upper gas, lower gas and uncomfortable. I will say that so far I have trouble discerning most of them (on tape or in Quinn) but the "upper gas" one is pretty distinctive and that alone has made a significant contribution to days 2 & 3 going much better. The City of Ottawa handout and the Baby Whisperer book had some writeups on the topic, but listening to actual examples on the dvd's was quite helpful. Plus the dvd's describe the physical actions used to make the sounds, which can make audibly similar sounds discernible if you see how they make them.

Quinn's First Day

Here's Quinn and his happy parents when he was 23 minutes old.


Photographic evidence of his girth. The first reading said 9 lbs even but apparently it averaged out two tenths of an ounce less. Sorta sounds like me leaning forward and backward while weighing myself while I was losing weight :)

A 9 lb baby and a 5'3" tall mother meant some stitches were in order. Here's Quinn in Dave's arms supporting his mom through that part.

Day 1 has gone really well. He slept from 3am to 1pm, but we have no illusions that that will continue - he was probably dopey due to the epidural and the shock of being born. It gave us a valuable chance to catch up on sleep though, before the upcoming weeks of sleep deprivation. He seems very even-tempered and alert. He has cottoned on to the breastfeeding thing quite quickly, which often seems to give new parents troubles. The meconium is clearing nicely. In engineering terms, all input and output systems seem to be functioning well. Rebecca is healing nicely. Now to try to establish a daily rhythm, and one where we can get some sleep.

Quinn Simpson Matthews

8lbs 15.8oz, 20.5". Home at 2am. 25 hrs. To bed...

Showtime...

Off to the hospital...stay tuned.

Dave the Boxing Trainer

After every contraction I pry her fingers out of the rocking chair arms, massage her shoulders out of her ears and squirt some water in her mouth. I feel like a boxing trainer. The difference is, I've timed 98 contractions so far and that might be half of them, so this is a 200 round bout so far and we're not nearly there yet.

Midwife II

Midwife came and went again. 3cm. Bec was devastated - at least 3 hrs to epidural. We're scraping it together until meeting the midwife at the hospital at 1pm. I don't have anything to compare it to, but it seems to have been a difficult labour so far.

Not active yet :(

Midwife came and left. 1.5cm. Not active labour yet apparently, in spite of the close timing. Bec’s pretty frustrated. All in all it’s going pretty well though – the midwife said she’s feeling the right things in the right places and is progressing well, and that the baby sounds good and is in a good position. The midwife is going to return about 10am.

The call

2:30 apart…last one was 1:57. We just called the midwife and they’re on the way.

We have liftoff!

Labour has started! Water has broken! With a flurry of activity Lucky kicked it right out of her! Contractions are 6 minutes apart and 90 seconds long. Since water broke we called the midwife. Since it was clear all is good and we will call her again when they’re about 2 mins apart. “Get some sleep” she says. Sure, sounds easy. Only the miracle of Gravol…

Less Dave To Love

In the middle of October I joined Weight Watchers Online in the hope of losing 20 lbs. I finally gave up deluding myself that my activity level was going to increase and began to tackle the problem from the consumption end.

WW works on a points-based system, where each food has a point value based on the portion size and the calories/fat/fibre of the food. You get an allotment of points per day, based on your gender/age/current weight, plus some points to use throughout the week however you see fit. You can earn daily points through activity. You track your weight (weekly) and food consumption (daily) via an online tool. I'm not into touchy-feely meetings, and the website has some great tips, science background, meal ideas and some nifty spreadsheets to entertain engineering geeks such as me. The interface could be a little slow and clumsy at times but overall it was pretty good, and the premises & content seemed unquestionably solid to me.

Today I achieved my target weight, after 3 months. I have learned a lot in the process, such as:

• I ate too much cheese; I drank too much fruit juice;
• Drink water instead of milk or juice with a meal;
  
• Earn a splurge meal with a little activity;
• Portion control is key;
• Eat snacks with staying power to avoid hunger;
  
• Read labels to make smarter choices at the grocery store - calories, fat and fibre are key for weight loss;
• Your favourites don't have to be sinful if you are careful - have your favourites but smaller portions;
  
• Establish better favourites - I love cookies but found some chocolate covered graham cookies and ginger cookies that are good without being bad for me;
  
• Substituting within favourites - homemade chocolate chip cookies made with margarine instead of butter still taste great for less fat (doesn't work for everything but worth experimenting)
  
• Whole wheat = good; white wheat = bad;
  
• Keep healthy staple snacks on hand (hummus or salsa are my new favourites)
  
• Eating out is a minefield but can be done: avoid cream sauces, alfredos and other heavy sauces; avoid spring rolls & anything deep-fried; take half the order home with you; share appetizers & desserts (or skip them); stick with the water; don't overdo (or do at all) the buffet;
• Research chain restaurants for healthy options ahead of time - Quizno's Honey Bourbon Chicken is my staple there; Extreme Pita has many healthy choices;

At least, that's what worked for me. Your mileage may vary. I think (I hope) I have learned enough to not need WW services again! Bec & I are going out to dinner tomorrow to celebrate (the most likely uneventful passing of) Lucky's due date. I think I'll have a steak to celebrate my weight loss - properly portioned of course!

Teddy Bear

Every kid needs a teddy bear. We have about 18 board feet of stuffed animals on a shelf that goes around the ceiling line of Lucky's room, but this one was special - my Uncle had given us a sponsorship and instructed us to buy a teddy bear for our son. Here was an opportunity to buy something fun for Lucky, rather than just more diapers!











With that in mind, we came across the Build-A-Bear Workshop, a store that sells custom teddy bears. We picked out a traditional looking bear with a soft material for the outer skin. We then took it to a machine in the back where it gets filled. We each made a wish and kissed the heart, which was then sewed into the bear. They even put it in a box that looks like a house. Quite an experience! Thanks Uncle Dave - I'm sure Lucky will appreciate this bear for years to come.

Gadgetry

Finally! A baby gadget for dads! Awhile ago we bought a baby monitor that does video as well as audio. Last week we took it out of the box and set it up to make sure it was working and we understood how to use it. I discovered in the box a cable that looked an awful lot like ones used to connect digital cameras to televisions. Sure enough - the baby monitor has an A/V jack that will allow us to hook it up to the TV! When Lucky squawks we can flip the TV input over to ALATT (All Lucky, All The Time) and see what's going on.

I mean, not that the other stuff isn't interesting and useful and all, but this thing kicks a$$!

Toes

After not one, but two relapses, Bec's *finally* beginning to emerge out the other side of the flu. It had me down for three days too. Bec has now resumed anticipating seeing her toes again. Her belly definitely looks different tonight - perhaps Lucky is dropping?

Flu, Part II

Bec's over her flu. Now I've got it. I guess I got my wish :)

The Flu

Bec's got the flu. The stomach kind. Three sessions so far. One of my fears is that she goes into labour during or soon after the flu, weakened and dehydrated. Another of my fears is that I catch it and I am forced to miss the birth. I almost wish I catch it quickly so I can get through it before the Main Event.

Pics

We had some professional pictures taken on Friday of a very pregnant Bec & I. You can see a small sampling of them at:

http://www.ambershereen.blogspot.com/

Look for "Baby on the way!"

We'll undoubtedly be ordering prints once we see the full package. She's got some great photography - you can see more of her work at

http://www.ambershereen.com/

The Pregnant Pause

I don't know how many times I've been told "You're in for a big change" or "your life is over as you know it" or any number of similar things. I believe them, well and truly, but it's the sort of situation you just can't fathom until you're in it. All I can do it prepare for it as much as possible, and that we have done.

It has created an interesting...I don't know exactly how to term it...'feeling' or 'atmosphere' I guess. It's like waiting for Christmas when you don't know the exact date. Right now, more exactly, it's like waiting for Christmas after all your gift shopping is done. We've read lots of books; we've taken the prenatal class; we've bought or received generous gifts for most stuff we think we will need; we've 'nested' the house; we've made lists of stuff to do and done lots of it; we stay as rested as we can in preparation for the expected long day of birth; we've cleared our schedules of extraneous activity and simplified our lives as much as possible in preparation for the soon-to-be-three of us to reduce our lives to eating, sleeping, and crapping for some span of time. But Lucky's not due for 10 more days and he's not showing any signs of making an early appearance.

It is "the pregnant pause". Having observed the phenomenon from close range now, I now know that term could have several connotations. This is not the pause between when you think you might throw up and when you actually do. This is not the pause between when you have an urge for a now-forbidden thing and when you realize you can't have/do that right now. This is not the pause between when you want to put your socks on and when you realize how long that will now actually take. It is a time of reflection and introspection, but also of anticipation and expectation. It is the dividing line between the self-centred life that was, and the life ahead where we take complete responsibility for the well-being of another human being.

I know the change will be profound. I just can't possibly appreciate the degree at this point. So for now I will revel in the Pregnant Pause and wait for January's Christmas to come.

Lucky's headfake

Lucky had us going last night. About 17 contractions over two hours, roughly averaging every 8 minutes. We were beginning to wonder whether this was it. But then they stopped. Oh well - I guess he's not quite ready yet. It was fun having a practice getting-excited session.

In other news, we saw the OB today and the slight protein-in-the-urine count appears to be nothing to be worried about. There will be some further testing but she (OB) didn't seem concerned at all. Very nice too, as well as her med student. This makes me feel good about having Lucky at the Montfort Hospital, even if we have to go clear across town to get there.

Can I officially register my gripe about financing health care through parking fees? $13 for two hours is highway robbery...

Nesting

Our prenatal class teacher told us "Guys, one day you'll come home and your pregnant wife will say 'We've got to change ALL the doorknobs RIGHT NOW'", and that this is normal for pregnant women, and that we should humour them - they're carrying our baby after all. This is apparently referred to as 'nesting'.

If only it were contained to doorknobs! On top of replacing a couple remaining doorknobs that got missed in previous updates, in the last nine months we have:

• undergone a major kitchen renovation;
• culled and completely reorganized the basement;
• emptied the middle bedroom and replaced it with baby paraphernalia (this kid isn't even born yet and he needs a will...) as well as repainted the room and installed new shelves;
• rearranged the living room; and
  
• rearranged the dining room.
  

If we have another kid we'll have to do the neighbour's house.

To be fair, it all needed to be done and it wasn't just hormones talking as I was an initiator too. It may be 15 years or more before we have time to do that kind of stuff again. Our nest is better off for it all and little Lucky will come into the best kind of world we can make for him. The next time you see a pair of birds in flight though, don't be fooled - it's not sightseeing, it's a kitchen reno in progress.

16 days and counting...