The Pregnant Pause

I don't know how many times I've been told "You're in for a big change" or "your life is over as you know it" or any number of similar things. I believe them, well and truly, but it's the sort of situation you just can't fathom until you're in it. All I can do it prepare for it as much as possible, and that we have done.

It has created an interesting...I don't know exactly how to term it...'feeling' or 'atmosphere' I guess. It's like waiting for Christmas when you don't know the exact date. Right now, more exactly, it's like waiting for Christmas after all your gift shopping is done. We've read lots of books; we've taken the prenatal class; we've bought or received generous gifts for most stuff we think we will need; we've 'nested' the house; we've made lists of stuff to do and done lots of it; we stay as rested as we can in preparation for the expected long day of birth; we've cleared our schedules of extraneous activity and simplified our lives as much as possible in preparation for the soon-to-be-three of us to reduce our lives to eating, sleeping, and crapping for some span of time. But Lucky's not due for 10 more days and he's not showing any signs of making an early appearance.

It is "the pregnant pause". Having observed the phenomenon from close range now, I now know that term could have several connotations. This is not the pause between when you think you might throw up and when you actually do. This is not the pause between when you have an urge for a now-forbidden thing and when you realize you can't have/do that right now. This is not the pause between when you want to put your socks on and when you realize how long that will now actually take. It is a time of reflection and introspection, but also of anticipation and expectation. It is the dividing line between the self-centred life that was, and the life ahead where we take complete responsibility for the well-being of another human being.

I know the change will be profound. I just can't possibly appreciate the degree at this point. So for now I will revel in the Pregnant Pause and wait for January's Christmas to come.