A little birdie told me

Quinn was asleep in the car seat after an an excursion to the Midwifery Group Picnic (how many obstetricians do that?). We decided to hang out on the front deck until he awoke. As I was sitting there reading I saw a little birdie hop up the curb and across the sidewalk onto our lawn. He had a little tuft of fur or something on his head. He seemed to be peeping at me, although it was quite faint. He was kinda cute so I pointed him out to Bec.

Her immediate comment was that he looked quite young and probably shouldn't be out of the nest. After a few seconds to digest that thought, I thought "well I'll go look and see if I can do anything for it", while at the same time being completely unsure what that might consist of. He had hopped into our front garden but I couldn't see any sign of him. I resumed my appointed place on the front deck.

The next thing, we hear a commotion of bird chirping and see an enormous crow with a young bird, presumably the same one, in its beak with two other little birds flitting around nervously and helplessly around it. The crow dropped the young bird on the street, picked it up and dropped it again. Bec implored me to do something. I had no idea what that might be as I thought it was already too late for that little bird.

She eventually walked out onto the street with me following, and the crow retreated to the lowest powerline with what must have been the madly chirping parents on the highest powerline. The little bird was still breathing, a heavy distressed breathing, but otherwise it was not moving. Bec sent me into the house to get a rag and a shoebox and I corralled it into the shoebox. There was a brief phone consultation with Ma & Pa Simpson. The crow finally determined he was out of luck and moved on. Then as I sat with Quinn on the front deck, Rebecca provided a merciful end for the young bird by drowning it.

A life doesn't necessarily have to last very long to have a profound impact. I watched the distraught parent birds. I looked at my own young son. I thought of our friends whose newborn baby is in distress. I thought of our unborn child that didn't make it. I thought of my wife inside by herself doing the difficult thing but the right thing. I went inside with Quinn and we had a big hug. Then we all played together for an hour.

Life is precious. Crows happen. Enjoy life to its fullest. A little birdie told me.

A great race day

Bec ran the 5k that is part of National Capital Race weekend. She established a new personal best time and felt strong doing it, including still feeling strong at the end. Apparently training with Quinn in the chariot means doing the run without the chariot felt like a breeze. And her time could have been even better if she had had to spend less time dodging other runners - I heard one estimate that there were 13000 runners, but I also heard another that said 8000. Either way, it took her 8 minutes just to cross the *start* line (not included in her time - a chip on her shoe is sensed electronically as she crosses both the start and finish lines).

I had Quinn for the duration of the race. I was worried that the crowd and the noise would be too much for him, but he loved it. We hung out 300m before the finish line to look for Rebecca. He was fascinated by all the goings-on - all the runners, the cheering spectators, the announcers, the music. He even added some cheers of his own as he has taken to extensive chattiness these days.

After a while of standing at the 4.7k mark I determined that Bec must have gone by without us seeing her, so we tried to make our way back to meet her. With somewhere around 10000 5k runners and somewhere around the same number of 10k runners minutes from starting, the place was a little crowded to say the least. I made it through the throng which thickened considerably as I got near the finish area. I got to a bottlenecking gate through which thousands of people were trying to squeeze by in both directions, and came to a standstill.

It was shoulder-to-shoulder by this point and I was a little concerned for Quinn's safety, and also concerned he was going to melt down. Sure enough he started to fuss a little and I thought uh-oh here we go. There wasn't much sanctuary nearby but I managed to extricate myself to a place by the fence that was less than nine people per square yard. He settled but I was still worried that he was going to get hungry or scared and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. I was afraid Bec was going to be worried and/or leave to either look for us or go home. We were only probably 50 yards from the fountain where we'd previously agreed to meet but it was looking impassable. The 10k was minutes from starting. If I was going to retrace my steps it had to be soon or I'd have to wait for 10000 runners to go by.

I decided to abandon the gate and take the long way around. It was going to take awhile but it looked like it was going to take longer to cover the direct route. I got back across the road and went through city hall. As I was inside I decided to take Quinn's hat off and see how he was doing with all the stress of the situation, fully expecting him to be Very Displeased.

He looked up at me (facing inward on my chest in a baby-carrier) and gave me the biggest, happiest, most glowing smile. He radiated happiness and glowed with affection. My tension level plummeted. In that moment my 4-month old son taught me that togetherness trumps circumstances. I stopped in a safe spot and we just grinned at one another for a few seconds. Then I carried on and eventually found Bec waiting patiently for us at the fountain.

Sometimes he really surprises me with his adaptability and resilience. Bec's daily adventures with him are a big part of that I'm sure. This was the first big adventure he and I had together by ourselves though, and that smiling gaze of his while walking through city hall is something I'll never forget.

A funny thing happened on the way to the store

On the way to the grocery store, Poopsie decides he just wasn't going any further without being fed. A very nice couple who lives on the corner brought a chair out for Bec to sit on so she didn't have to sit on the ground. Kids and parenthood can really bring the good out in people.


Believe it or not, this is the same woman who wants me to close the dining room drapes when she breast feeds in the living room :)

Nicknames

Things we call Quinn when we don't call him Quinn:

• Poopsie
• Little Boop
• The One-Winged Albatross (he flaps his left arm madly a lot)
  
• Sir Wiggles-a-lot
• Pooper Dooper
• Bam-Bam
• Mr Sneaky-Peer
• The Mad Pooper
• Adventure Boy
  
• Lucky (in utero)
  

The Poopsie moniker originated from a pre-bath projectile incident. That's the embarrassing one most likely to survive long term I think :)

Mr Bipolar

For a couple of weeks now Quinn has demonstrated what we refer in the software business as an IO device shared between tasks. The IO (input/output) device is his mouth - smiling or pouting lower lip. In his brain are running simultaneous tasks, where one task is happy and the other task is unhappy. When the happy task has the mouth IO resource, he smiles; when the unhappy task has the mouth IO resource, he pouts. Sometimes the context switches between tasks are dizzyingly fast, resulting in alternating smiles and pouts on a second-by-second basis. There is a tipping point at which the unhappy tasks win and he goes into full wail. Sometimes you can do things you know make him happy to temporarily defer the tipping, thus buying some time to try to address the source of the unhappiness. But other times it's just too much and all you can do is hold him. By and large, he's a pretty happy kid though.

I guess in adulthood it's much the same, but there is much buffering between the happy and sad expressions such that each individual one is not always outwardly apparent. Plus there is much social conditioning to repress much of the expression, and as well we become capable of indulging our own pleasures and sating our own needs and desires. I suppose too, that as we become more complex beasts that there are so many competing happy tasks and unhappy tasks that the net result is some sort of running average. I guess the key is to, when necessary, try to pick out individual tasks running around in our brain at any one time and identify them, to encourage the good ones and minimize the occurrence or impact of the bad ones.

In the meantime, I will watch with fascination as each individual thought plays out on my son's face. I will what I can to encourage the good ones and discourage/minimize the bad ones as much as I can for him, but also try to equip him to do it for himself as he grows up. With some good luck and some good management, maybe we can keep him on the positive side of the tipping point more often than not.

A frightening moment

We had a yardsale yesterday. I took a moment to go inside to find something and Bec, who was carrying Quinn, was completing a sale. The change can was on the back stairs. As she turned around with change in hard, she fell down the last stair. She got one hand out to break her fall and instinctively held Quinn with the other. Quinn let out a frightened yelp and cried for a few minutes but he was fine - the people said his head didn't hit and he was probably just scared. He settled fairly quickly which seemed to confirm that. Bec scraped her hand, knees and feet, and one foot was bruised and sore but otherwise she is OK. Well, except for the freaking out part that is...a frightening moment for sure.

The yard sale was a reasonable success. It was a little odd this year - the big stuff didn't move but quite a bit of little stuff did. It's nice to see it go to people who will enjoy it. We made about $100 which by the hour isn't so great but it's kind of a fun day. When you don't fall down any stair, that is...

Free-range child?

There's an interesting story in the Globe And Mail about the burgeoning 'Slow' counterculture. I must say it piques my interest. I have borrowed the book - "In Praise of Slow" - and I'm part way through it. It doesn't espouse a return to medieval times, but rather merely balance and placing a higher value on downtime. That will be a difficult tightrope to walk as Quinn gets older I'm sure. I know I was awfully busy growing up but I enjoyed everything I did and didn't want to give up any of it. I remember being disappointed giving up piano lessons but it was the most expendable of all the things I was doing. But this winter I reduced my commitments to once a week, and currently my slate is completely clear, allowing my to enjoy my new family to the fullest.

Teething?

It seems early, but we're wondering whether Quinn is teething. The most significant sign is a LOT of drooling, as well as some fussiness and night waking, especially the last few days. It's hard to say though - it's early for teething and those signs are sufficiently vague to mean, well, pretty much anything. But off I went to Shoppers Drug Mart and bought everything the pharmacist recommended. I couldn't help but think I was falling prey to the "I'll pay anything to try to keep my kid from feeling pain" industry, especially when the pharmacist said "It's your first kid isn't it?".

I got home $42 later. Bec's glad to have the peace of mind of having options on hand if it gets to be too much though. That's worth $42 in the big picture. Besides, it's not me feeding him 4 times a night :)

Mr. Grabby Hands

The golden era of placid diaper changes is now officially over. For a couple weeks or more now Quinn has been grabbing onto things, which is especially tricky when changing his diaper. The other day he grabbed the peepee teepee and flung it away and proceeded to pee all over the place before I could replace it. He grabs his diaper, he grabs my robe/clothes, he grabs the hair on my arm, he grabs basically anything nearby. Other moms tell Bec that soon he'll be grabbing his peepee during the diaper change.

Oh well, I guess it's a good thing. It's pretty neat to watch him purposely grab onto something and do something with it, which is usually to put it into his mouth, or try to. He has entered the era where he's trying to do stuff rather than just have stuff happen. I suppose that will have its upsides and downsides over the next 20 years but it's a good thing in the long run, right? :)

Quinn, smiley guy

Quinn smiles at people a lot, which I am somehow immensely proud of. I think perhaps it's because I didn't really learn how to do it til recently. It's as if he has learned that the first thing you do when somebody greets you is give them a big smile. I can't think of a better first thing to teach a kid :) When I'm out walking with him I walk very slowly, as opposed to all the charging around I used to do. I look around and notice things a lot more, including other people. Since Quinn was born I have been focusing on smiling more because I want him to do the same. The smiling and the slower pace, combined with carrying a very cute baby, means people smile back at me a lot more.

I was doing some housework tonight, both because it was time and because Bec's having a mommy-party tomorrow. Quinn was completely fascinated by it, watching completely agog. He is so interactive now, able to hold himself up and turn his head look around at things, rather than merely observing whatever he's pointed at. We're also able to carry him facing out sometimes so he can observe the world, which he loves.

I feel a lot more attached to him this past week or so. He really loves face time and laughs a lot. While he's still very much attached to his mom, it seems like the past week or so he's begun to branch out and figure out who this other guy is who seems to be around more than most people.

Life is good.

His first space bar

Quinn tapped his first space bar today. Bec had him on her lap and was showing him how to hit keys and he hit the space bar three times. Bec thinks it was on purpose but I suppose it's difficult to say.

He's a monster sleeper. Taking after his dad, he stays up late - going to sleep at 10pm usually - and sleeps in late - waking up at 9am usually (with one or two snacks through the night). There were days this week that I had to linger around the house before going to work a bit late to even see them before I left. I seldom even hear the night snacking. Bec is getting some sleep but Quinn's constant thrashing makes her sleep intermittent at times, especially as morning approaches. He has slept almost entire nights in the co-sleeper but some nights he just won't sleep in it. I think he usually has two or three naps through the day (not sure - Bec's the expert on that topic).

He's making more and longer sounds. He's showing a lot more neck strength and head control. He's showing more core strength and ability to sit up. He's laughing some. He's had some days recently, including today, where he's just half a bubble off plumb - not fully fussing, but not settled either. Bec's constantly analyzing what she's eating (and getting a little sick of it!) but I'm not sure it's a food thing. I think it's just hard work being that small and growing that fast.

It was my "night off" tonight - a chance to go out and do something fun. I went to The Audio Shop that didn't have the headphones I was looking for. Then I went to a restaurant that's usually good (The Standard) and it was just ordinary. Then I went to the Museum Of Nature and it was terribly disappointing - under construction, uninspiring exhibits, poorly signed, poorly laid out, poorly done A/V presentations. I would have had more fun if I'd just stayed home. By the time I got home, Poopsie was at the end of his tether and he wailed at me until back in mommy's arms. Oh well - some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.