Ceiling fans & mirrors

When Bec first moved in, one of her cats was terrified of the ceiling fan for a solid month. She would emerge from the basement, glance at the fan and then flee in terror whether it was running or not. Now Quinn is fascinated by ceiling fans. Is there something they know that we don't? In my mind they don't match the watchability factor of fires, sunsets, the ocean or babies but maybe I'm missing something.

Quinn is also fascinated by mirrors. He'll stare at himself or other things in the mirror for sustained periods when he's placid. Interestingly though, when he's cranky seeing himself the mirror seems to set him off, almost as if to say "and on top of everything else look at this body I'm stuck in that I don't even know how to use yet".

The whole concept of mirrors and understanding 'self' fascinates me. Apparently only a few animals are able to grasp the concept of 'self' and yet we as humans seem to grasp it at a very early stage. At least it looks like Quinn does but maybe I'm reading too much into his reaction (and in that vein, how do they know that animals don't understand 'self'?). Assuming Quinn does get it, it's amazing it happens at such an early stage. Or maybe he sees the babies in all the mirrors as competition, who knows.

Car seat clinic

We went to a car seat clinic today to make sure our installation was alright. We had gotten help from friends knowledgeable in the area but that was before Quinn was born so we decided to get it double checked. Our installation was mostly good but we learned a few things that made the trip worthwhile. They reinstalled the base to level it out. They rethreaded the straps in the seat to fit Quinn better. They advised against the furry winter insert as it made straps not tight enough (we'll use extra blankets over top instead). They also advised against the headrest mirror Bec had gotten to be able to see Quinn (who faces backwards) from the driver's seat. Apparently he would bash his face against it when the seat flips up in an impact. He loves the monkey that goes around the mirror and Bec likes being able to see him, so we're going to relocate it to the centre or left-side headrest and angle it so we can see him. The clinic people were very nice. It was about a half hour wait but Quinn was good as gold. It was worth the trip.

I took Quinn for about three hours this morning while Bec got some more sleep. There was some initial wailing and I was worried the mommy-preference was kicking in again, but I persevered and he went to sleep. When he woke up I was able to feed him a whole meal from a bottle previously pumped by Bec. That's the first time he's taken that much from a bottle, and it's significant because it opens up possibilities for me to give Bec longer breaks, and for others to give us both a break.

Long walks, nighthawks & talks

Thursday and Friday I went for hour-long walks with Quinn in the snuggly to give Rebecca a break. He has not been sleeping very much through the days recently and seems overtired at supper time and early evening. He always sleeps in the snuggly; I think the sleep and fresh air did him good. The walk was good for me and the break was warmly welcomed by Bec too. Warmer weather and later light makes a big difference in terms of being able to go out with him. Tonight he was in better spirits and he's actually slept a lot today and this evening. Hopefully that doesn't preclude also making it through the night.

I managed a high level of effectiveness at work this week but I'm exhausted now. To get any time to myself means staying up late but it catches up with me more quickly now. My nighthawk nature and my propensity get immersed in things don't mix well with life with an infant. The evening walks are good though - I hope to do more of that. It's a more sustainable way for nighthawk-me to give Bec a break than getting up at 7am.

This week Bec asked for me to hang out with her in the evenings more. I was glad she asked - otherwise it just builds resentment. She makes a concerted effort to get out and do stuff during the day but she still spends an awful lot of time with it just being her and Quinn. It's been fun the last couple evenings and has worked out really well. And the little OLPC laptop actually helps the situation - I can surf the net while she watches drama shows on TV that I can't stand :) To some degree we're in our own electronic worlds but at least we're together, and there's always chatter during pauses.

Yet another anti-spam tool

The new Canadian federal law coming into effect regarding mail and phone marketing is pretty toothless in that some types of agencies are exempt (eg charities) and the "existing business relationship" loophole basically means if you ever gave anyone in a suit a sideways glance they're allowed to phone you during dinner. If you go to http://ioptout.ca/ you can register and select from a list of companies/agencies in various categories and the site will automatically generate an opt-out email message to all your selections. The selection list is editable in a wiki so the list will explode in size very shortly I am sure. Most of the major offenders are already on there.

I wonder if they can make my son stop crying during dinner :)

Ups and downs

Quinn laughed for the first time this morning. It was the cutest thing ever by far. Tonight he was tired and fussy, wailed whenever I held him and quieted immediately as soon as Bec took him. Definite preference for mommy these last few days. I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. Maybe I'm not doing enough right. Maybe it's just a stage, I dunno. I'm trying hard not to take it personally but it's not working very well...

OLPC laptop arrived today. It's pretty neat. After several hours of wrangling and web reading and drawing on over a decade of unix and telecom experience I finally got the wireless working. It's a great idea, but I don't know how kids in developing countries would ever know how to "su -l '/home/olpc/Wpa.sh'". Maybe the mesh networking would work out-of-the-box when you don't have to worry about Bell calling you a communist. Anyway, it's a bit slow but really not bad at all for a $200 laptop that you can pour your coffee on. From what I read on the web it seems to be popular with the gearhead population, and I'm not alone in having bought it "for my 2 month old" :)

Check it out at http://laptop.org/

The crud

Quinn's got his first illness. I think it's The Crud. I've had it for a few days and I think he's now got it flyin' out his butt too. He's had several inconsolable spells the last couple days and has generally been unsettled, which is unlike his usual demeanor. I'm on the upswing so hopefully his passes within a day or two.

The Mysterious Case Of The Non-Starting Mustang rectified itself today. It wouldn't start on Friday morning after a Thursday evening car wash, and didn't start Saturday or Sunday either. On Saturday I tunnelled through 4 feet of snow to get my battery charger out of the garage but alas, it was to no avail. This morning as Bec was on hold to get a CAA tow truck I tried it again and miraculously it started. In my engineering experience it's seldom good when problems go away for no known reason but we'll see how it goes.

I switched my cellphone to Telus today, from Bell. I've decided that anything that requires bombardment advertising is crap by definition. You see it all the time with movies - the real duds get blanket advertising while the good ones just sell themselves. It's not like Telus is a mom & pop operation or anything but the beavers are definitely a Bombardment Violation. I feel better already.

Our natural state

From very early on in Quinn's life, he seemed to be happy unless he had a need to be tended to. Well, "happy" might not be quite the right word at the beginning, but "neutral" at least. He has since learned to smile and is doing so with great regularity now. It is such a great smile - an all-consuming glow that makes his eyes twinkle and his head wiggle from side to side. It seems to be the purest happiness.

It makes me wonder whether our natural state, when all our needs are taken care of, is to be happy. Or, is it to be 'neutral' and 'happy' is just a positive excursion on the graph? When Quinn was born did he just not know how to express 'happy' in a way we could see, or was he really just 'neutral'? Has he learned what 'happy' is since that time, and how to express it?

Parenting books talk about colicky babies and there is much speculation as to why it occurs. It seems to boil down to two schools of thought - either they're just "like that", or they have an underlying imperceptible condition. Well, what about happy babies? Are they just "like that" or is it a condition brought on by external factors? At least one book I have read referred to smiling as a "socially conditioned response". It's certainly true that we can encourage it more once it does occur, but I honestly believe that what I've seen in Quinn in his first smiles was unprompted and unconditioned happiness.

There are always needs, some real and some imagined, some naturally occurring in us and some imposed upon us. The complexity of the human condition adds conflict on small and large scales. The social nature of humans adds needs beyond basic food, water and shelter. The sum total of it all is that as adults the underlying happiness can seem hopelessly obscured sometimes, but I choose to believe that underneath it all we are naturally happy and that it is embodied in the purity of an infant's smile.

Easter at gramma & grampa's

We went out to Gramma & Grampa's today for Easter dinner. Quinn's Aunt Caitlin was there too. It was a great day. Quinn was at his chatty and smiley finest. It was nice for family to see him in a good and interactive mood. They set up the playpen, and bought a Winnie-the-Poo mobile to go in it. Quinn quite enjoyed the mobile but Caitlin was stressed that Grampa was calling the figures by "non-standard" names. She figures endless teasing will ensue if he goes to school calling them Tony instead of Tigger, and Elsie instead of Eyore. I think we've got a few years to straighten it all out :)

Quinn had an inconsolable fit tonight. It lasted, I don't know, maybe an hour or so. Finally I had the idea of giving him some diaper-free time as that has settled him a few times in the past. He immediately peed (into a strategically placed cloth - this dad's learned a few things a long the way :) ) and then like flipping a switch he was all smiles again. Since this isn't the first time this sort of thing has occurred we're concerned that something's wrong. We already have a doctor's appointment for next week and a pediatrician appointment in early April so hopefully we can figure out what's wrong, if anything.

Dad's first solo

Bec played hockey this afternoon for the first time since Quinn was born. We all went to the rink and I soloed with Quinn while Bec played. He slept most of the time but awoke late in the game and I fed him some from a bottle. I realized it was the first time I'd soloed with him out of the house. I was a little self conscious at first, about obviously not knowing how to carry 12 things and a wiggly baby all at once, but I got through it. Moms seem to have an amazing ability to pack-horse a ton of stuff and a baby while multitasking at the same time. It's a remarkable skill really, and I have even more of an appreciation for it now. Bec had a fun time, and Quinn charmed all the ladies in the bar afterwards so it was a good outing all around.

The bathtub incident

Tuesday evening Bec was going to book club and taking Quinn with her, and I was at a deadline time for work and needed to work some overtime. So I worked late and Bec had Quinn all evening. She decided to bathe him. It was the first solo bathe so she decided against the little bathtub and opted to do it in the bathroom bathtub. Well, of course he let go with a big poop as soon as he entered the water. Bec managed to get it all cleaned up and finish the bath before book club. It always seems it's when you have a schedule to keep that these things happen.

It was bath night again tonight. He didn't pee on us this time, but he did pee on his dad immediately prior. It always startles me no matter how much I try to steel myself. He's pretty much outgrown the little bathtub - when he stretches out full length he presses on the head and foot of the tub. He's growing like crazy!

Intuition

The thing that gets me about this whole parenthood thing is the impreciseness of the whole thing. Try as I might to apply engineering principles to it, there seem to be few hard and fast rules of "when X happens, do Y". It seems a bit like quantum physics, like "when X happens there is a higher probability that Y will work, but it still might be 'Z', 'green' or 'Tuesday'". And if it was true last week, yesterday or even 15 minutes ago it's not necessarily the case right now. It's even harder than trying to figure out where Rebecca wants to go out to dinner.

The only weapon truly at our disposal as parents is intuition, and fortunately both Bec & I seem to be reasonably adept at this. In my case it's probably from years of trying to figure out where Bec wants to go to dinner. In Bec's case I don't know - maybe from trying to guess where her mom wants to go to dinner. Anyway I now have a stable of things I know how to do that might placate him, and I have a little experience now in associating some probabilities based on current conditions and recent events. I now seldom get to the end of my list without him quieting down - I don't know whether he just forgets what he was upset about or whether I got something right along the way but either way I won't argue with results. The only thing I know for sure though, is that you can never know anything for sure.

Hangover day

For Quinn...not me. After two consecutive evenings out, on Sunday Quinn was overtired all day. He slept on and off the whole day and was fussy to some degree most of the day. He had a good long sleep Sunday night and is back to rights today though.

He's making much more interesting sounds now, with different syllables strung together like "ah-goo", "en-goo" or my personal favourite: "ah-roo". Sometimes he comes out with "geu" which I believe is the French for "goo".

Quinn the party animal

We went to our first party with Quinn tonight. Our friend Ryan just bought a house and he had a house warming / St Patrick's Day party. Quinn was a star. He slept on the way over, and slept there for a while but then woke up and wanted to eat. Bec fed him and then he was wide awake and looking around all wide-eyed. Various people held him and talked to him and he took it all in with a glint in his eye. I was so proud to call him our son. I'm suspecting he might have inherited his dad's propensity for being the last to leave a party and he was wide-eyed, smiling and cooing right til the end. He even stayed awake in the car on the way home, which is unusual. When we got home we gave him a bath and he ate again and he's just now beginning to go to sleep as I type.

We went out to Gramma and Grandpa's this afternoon. Quinn was a star out there too, smiling and cooing for Gramma and Grandpa, to their utter delight. They took care of him for an hour or so while Bec & I went snowshoeing in their back 40. It was the first time I've ever snowshoed and it was quite fun. Plus it's the first time Bec & I got to do something together, just the two of us, since Quinn was born. Gramma made an awesome lunch. It was a great visit.

Bec had a massage on Friday morning. That was the first time she'd been out of the house without him in his entire 7 weeks. He slept on me on the couch just fine until unfortunately Bec called to say she was coming home. The ringer was set too loud and it woke him up. He may have heard his mom's voice on the answering machine and immediately wanted to be nowhere except on her. Fortunately the wailing only lasted 15 minutes or so until she got home. She held him and he quieted. She handed him to me for 30 seconds while she changed her clothes and he wailed. She took him back and fed him and all was well.

Cutting dairy out of Bec's diet seems to have improved Quinn's demeanor and health. It's possibly a coincidence but it looks awfully much like a correlation. We'll have to concentrate on making sure Bec gets proper nutrition on what it pretty much now a vegan diet but I'm confident we can do that. Quinn seems much better off for it so its worth the effort.

Quinn news

He's been Mr. Bipolar these days. Happy as a clam through the day and screams his head off every evening. He was to the doctor today to follow up on his excema. It's mostly gone, but the doc was a little concerned about some swelling in his scrotum. We're going to see a pediatrician about it but it probably (hopefully!) nothing to worry about. The inconsolable screaming fits make me worried though... He's up over 13 lbs - apparently he's in the 90 percentile for growth. He's definitely getting noticeably taller. He barely fits in the portable bathtub now. Maybe the screaming is just from the rapid growth.

He's cooing and gurgling much more and has more focus in his eyes when looking at someone or something. During the daytime he's quite happy and smiley. This morning I had him for a half hour or so while Bec sneaked some more sleep, and I had him in the bouncy chair on the kitchen counter while I got ready for work. I noticed him tracking me as I passed back and forth in front of him, so I started playing a little game with him. I'd move right and wait for his eyes to catch up and then coo at him, and he'd smile. I did that back and forth a few times and he was quite delighted. Then I hid my face behind my hands and then took them away. The first time his eyes followed my right hand away from my face and then came back to my face and he smiled. The second and third times he knew to look behind where my hands were instead of following my hands. Smart kid.

The other night I fed him a little from a bottle of milk that Bec had pumped. He seemed to take it just fine. Bec was a little sad but I don't think she's in any danger of being put out of a job. We're working at getting him used to sleeping in the playpen as a step towards the crib but I think that's going to take awhile. Bec tried dairy again starting yesterday, and while he's had another fit tonight we're suspecting that dairy is not the problem. We do suspect eggs though.

We're still agonizing over the vaccination decision. There seems to be a not-ignorable correlation with the onset of autism, which terrifies us. It's difficult to get any hard numbers though, but we haven't yet started researching it in earnest. For now we've decided not to start until at least 6 months, which buys us some time. I certainly don't want him to get polio or such, and things like measles can be dangerous at very early ages, but I'm just not convinced of their safety yet. Plus autoimmune diseases run on both sides of our family, which is another worrisome but as-yet unproven allegation against immunizing. And then there's the fact that non-stop crying for up to 3 hours and days of sluggishness is considered normal after vaccinations. It's not going to be an easy decision.

The Great Snowstorm of '08

51cm of snow! Holy cow! Growing up in snowbelt NS I've seen some doozies, but I don't think I've been in one that big before. It started Friday night and ended early Sunday. For various reasons I was late getting started shovelling but it worked out perfectly - our neighbour has a cousin who drives a Bobcat for a snow removal contractor and he stopped by for a visit just as they finished their shovelling. However they saw me just getting started so he offered to help. That saved me a few hours of hard labour! Good thing too, because my back was still hurting from last Wednesday's 20cm.

Ottawa has received 404cm (159" or 13'3") of snow so far this winter. The record is 444.1cm. They say if we have average snowfall from now til April we'll beat the record. I'm hoping for it - we might as well have something to brag about for all this shovelling.

Like so many, I am running out of places to put the snow. They did snow removal on Friday night and I shovelled the top two feet of the 6' mountain of snow on the front yard into the street before the big snowblower went by. After shovelling it's back up to about 7 feet. And that's with the bobcat pushing much of the snow elsewhere.

A few pics:

The manual stairmaster

Sometimes the only way to settle Quinn is by walking up and down the stairs with him. Tonight was one of those nights. I went up and down those stairs about 15 times. My legs are a little rubbery. Good for weight loss though - with some relaxing of the consumption discipline garnered during my Weight Watchers experience I am still maintaining my weight. The rigors of parenthood appear to kickstart my metabolism enough to get away with eating more again.

We're looking to (a) work at getting him to sleep on his own; (b) reintroduce dairy to Bec's diet and see if he gets fussy again; and (c) start him on a bottle occasionally. However we don't want to start all of them at once for obvious reasons. We were going to start dairy tonight but he had a big fussy fit tonight so we thought we'd wait since we wouldn't be able to tell if the dairy was the problem. Maybe tomorrow.

Thumbs up!

Quinn sucked his thumb for the first time tonight. It's only been a couple of days he's started getting his hand to his mouth, and tonight he managed to separate his thumb and suck on it. It's amazing how innate it is.

Big snow tonight/tomorrow. 30-40 cm, sounds like. Quite a bit down already. We're in a solid second place for the snowiest Ottawa winter ever and closing in on the record. I'm a little stiff from shoveling (I don't care where you're from... :) )

Bathing Charlie Brown

Like Charlie Brown kicking the football, every time we give Quinn a bath I hope that this will be the time he doesn't pee. Every time he pees. No matter how prepared I try to be, and no matter what defensive strategies I try to come up with, I still struggle to contain the damage. Oh well - he seems to like bath time at least.

He's advancing by leaps and bounds it seems. He has slept 5 to 7 hours in a single stretch three nights this week and we are starting to establish a pattern almost resembling a bedtime routine. He has fallen asleep on his own a couple of times. He sits in the Bouncy Chair and bats at the dangling toys and seems to be fascinated with them. He sucks on his right hand occasionally. He makes more interesting gurgles and coos. He studies his mom's and dad's face intently. He watches his mobile. And best of all, he pretty consistently responds with smiles when I sing the boo-be-doo-be-doop song to him and bop around with him.

I made it through another week, and while I'm still pretty pooped, I've made to Friday without feeling completely destroyed. I wasn't in peak form today, but right through the end of yesterday I was quite productive at work. It's getting better.

Scatting

The form of singing, not defecation...yesterday when I got home I started scat singing to Quinn while dancing and bouncing him around. He loved it! He smiled repeatedly. Giggles can't be far away. Then he sailor-burped twice, puked, crapped on the change table seven times while I was changing him (ok maybe it *is* the defecation kind) and promptly fell asleep for 7 hours til 5am! By 4am both Bec & I were hovering over him to see if he was ok.

Needless to say there was some scatting tonight too. I let Bec change him though :) He's just gone to sleep. I should go join him as I couldn't get back to sleep past 5am this morning.

Positive feedback

Quinn is much more interactive now. In the proper mood, he'll produce smiles in response to play or singing, and those moods are becoming a little more common. I must say the smiling feedback is quite welcome. It seems like up to this point the best you could hope for was to get him back to neutral on the happiness scale, but now it feels like we can actually do something to swing him to the positive side of the happiness ledger.

We went for a skate on the canal today. It was a gorgeous sunny day, just above zero, and the ice was in great shape. Freezing rain is on the way tonight though so that might be the end of canal season.

We managed to get Bec 9 hours of sleep yesterday - 4 in the evening, 3 at night, 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. Luxury! In a rare occurrence over the last month, she had more sleep than me! Last night she got 6 and another 1 this afternoon.

We saw the doctor yesterday regarding the rash on Quinn's face. Apparently it's eczema, which is nothing serious but we got a mild steroid cream that seems to be helping already. He really doesn't need 'roids to help bulk up - he's 11lbs 13oz!