Altitude: 2'6"

Quinn has reached his cruising altitude of 2' 6" - for the first time today he cruised along the furniture! We were excited and he was quite proud. They were little shuffling sidesteps, but by the time he'd done it three times he was going pretty fast. It's funny - he didn't seem that proud at first, but once we made a big deal out of it he realized that this was one of those "learning things" and then he wanted to do it over and over. It seemed the perfect melding of nature and nurture - doing it was innate, but encouraging it expedited it.

Occasionally while holding a toy in each hand and another in his mouth, he reaches for a fourth toy while standing, resulting in accidental free standing for brief instants. Full blown walking can't be far away.

Toys Daddy Loves too

Quinn got some great toys for Christmas. Toys that daddy loves too : a great big dump truck and beginner lego; a wooden train set complete with an intersecting road with railway crossing and train bridge (I've finally learned how to put it all together - in spite of Quinn tearing it apart as fast as I can assemble it); some great books; a wack-a-ball toy - complete with an extended lesson from Aunt Caitlin on how to properly whack the heck out of the balls (he's picking it up quite well she'll be pleased to know - his relatively quiet and reserved parents lack the requisite whacking panache...).

He also got a xylophone that's actually properly tuned, which I'm very excited about. Perhaps unreasonably excited. We have another xylophone that's tuned to three consecutive minor thirds and two augmented fourths. Who does that?? It sounds absolutely satanic. Anyway, the new one is metal and sounds quite nice, and has the notes C through A in the C major scale. It comes complete with some song sheets for a few songs that can be played with those notes. As a bonus it floats, so it can be used in the bath. However, he's still scratching his head over the bathtub book he got, and I'm a little concerned we're going to find his whole library shrivelled up in the tub one day, but I'm sure with some careful coaching all will be ok.

Very generous and thoughtful gifts, all. He still gets a kick out of his spatula and a stick though, which I can't say I'm entirely disappointed about in this materialistic age. More careful coaching in store.

Two stage manipulation

Quinn wanted onto mommy's lap. Gramma was between him and mommy. He crawled over to Gramma and put up his arms to be picked up, brightening Gramma right up. Unfortunately once picked up he then immediately put his arms out to be taken to mommy. He's done that once with me too. Smart kid. It didn't take him long to figure that out.

We're also having to train him out of pointing and screaming to have something brought to him. I think the family blitz of Christmas in Nova Scotia has taught him why do anything himself when it's quicker and easier to have someone do it for you. Except for the things that he insists on doing for himself of course.

As an engineer, I guess I can't argue with his logic. Over time we'll have to make sure he uses his powers only for the the forces of good.

Constructiveness

This evening Quinn made up a new game. Bec & I are both exhausted tonight after our return train trip from Nova Scotia with Quinn. It all went well but it took a lot out of us. I was in the kitchen doing something or other, and Bec was in the living room with Quinn. I heard her cheering him on through some game, and then heard "this game is great now that you've learned to pick it up yourself". I looked into the living room, and there was Bec flaked out on the couch while Quinn alternately earnestly struggled his blue sweater to the top of the ottoman, and then triumphantly flung it onto the floor to the great cheers of his mommy.

Previously he has enjoyed the game of pulling stuff off of the ottoman and throwing it on the floor as we pick it up repeatedly. Today was the first time he did the constructive part of the activity as well as the destructive part. He also assembled two of the megablocks he got for Christmas for the first time today. He still is rather insistent that every single one of his plentiful books be strewn all over the floor immediately after we stack them back up, but the sweater game is (hopefully) an important first step.

The sickies

Quinn's been sick for most of December. It started as a cold, then got better, then got suddenly worse. We started on one antibiotic, but it gave him diarrhea and didn't appear to work. We switched antibiotics and it appears to be working and causing less other problems, other than the fact that Quinn hates it. We should sell tickets to the charade we go through to get it into him. Poor guy.

We've had our first trip to CHEO for a chest xray but it's apparently not pneumonia, as the longstanding, persistent, productive, hacking cough and rattly breathing might indicate. He's had a few miserable days and nights over the last while, but he definitely seems to be on the mend now. I've been some degree of sick for a month and Bec's caught it presently, but I think we're all improving now.

Sleep habits definitely went out the window during his sickness, just in time for going farther out the window for Christmas. Oh well, hopefully retraining won't take too long - that progress was hard-won.

First wave

Every night at bedtime, just before Bec nurses him, I wave goodnight through the doorway. Last night for the first time Quinn waved back. It was a backwards wave, so the hand action he sees when he waves is the same as when people wave to him. He definitely gets 'bye bye' in that context. Now we'll extend it to other situations.

He is also developing other situational awareness. Like the impending end of bathtime for instance. He shrieks as if saying "Run away, run away!" and crawls like mad to the other end of the bathtub. He arches his back and shrieks some more as we pick him up. Not the most endearing behaviour, but he certainly loves his bathtime.

He's beginning to cruise ever so slightly while standing alongside furniture. Bec also found him standing on the first stair the other day too. He's developing so fast. I'd heard it was a blazing pace of development at this stage but it is truly amazing to watch.

Conductor

Quinn waves his hands along with music and singing now, like he's conducting. I'm not just sure where that comes from as it's not something he sees us do. It must be a natural thing I guess. He also taps in time with music on occasion. It's difficult to say whether it's on purpose or not, but it seems to happen more often than chance.

He also likes big trucks. We stopped to watch the big city snowblower clear a street the other day, with a grader and dumptrucks and a sidewalk plow. I'm not waiting to see if nature or nurture steers it that way :) I was cheering Quinn on as he made his 'interested' sound and pointed. Rebecca wouldn't let me chase them down to the next street :) but the seed is planted I think.

Quinn has an idea

Quinn had an idea recently, to master the lightswitch. Sure enough he has, and the bulb came on over his head. "Push up, light on, push down, light off" has been the mantra during these antics, but three-way (double) switches confuse the mantra somewhat. At bedtime we say "Light off?" and he looks over at the switch. We hold him up to it and he puts his hand on it. He looks at his mom and dad to ensure he has the full attention of his audience. Then, when the moment is right he flips the switch, the light goes off, his parents cheer and he gets a big toothy grin.

"Light on" followed "light off" pretty closely in development. The current stage is "light on light off light on light off light on light off light on light off light on light off light on light off light on light off...". If it turns out he's OCD he has learned all he'll ever need to know. We've probably cut years off that bulb's life but hey, we'll be buying lots more expensive toys than a $5 CFL light bulb over the years.

Round peg, Round Hole!

To the great glee of Quinn and his adoring audience, he put the round block through the round hole tonight! He had his proud smile on after he did it, so I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose. I had laid some groundwork for matching blocks to holes a while back, knowing it was too advanced for him then, but Bec caught him doing it right by accident today, and with a little glowing praise soon enough he was doing it again a few times!

In other news, he seemed to be making his little frog jump along the side of the bathtub. Before throwing it on the floor for dad to retrieve that is...over and over and over :) He seems to be entering another level of cognizance. And cute too, as his nana would say :)

The Washing Machine

Here's an advantage of front-loader washing machines that they don't show in the glossy brochures - Quinn watches the clothes tumble around for 20 minutes at a time.Bec 's taking a short home-movie of this now. It should provide for years of entertainment :)

Toys du jour

Quinn has finally moved on from the cranberry juice bottle lid that he was mesmerized by for so long. Now he is magnetically attracted to a toy spatula that was mistakenly in with another toy we borrowed (at least, we see no connection between the spatula and the toy itself, but Quinn is not the least bothered by this). You can never tell what he's going to be galvanized by next.

Empty boxes and crinkly paper are popular, so Christmas will be a big hit. He loves a little truck we borrowed, and quickly caught onto opening the rear hatch to put small things inside it. He loves a rings-and-post toy, and a set of telescoping cups has had real staying power. They are the perfect example of kid-entropy: everything proceeds to great chaos - we build towers with the cups, and he takes glee in toppling them over. In fact he'll traverse the breadth of the room to knock a tower over. Unless he spies a beetle on the way of course, but most times he gets there to deal with the tower in his own spectacular little way.

He has started a new game with his dinner spoon which is both clever and cute. He takes the spoon and hides it under his high-chair tray, and gets this glimmer in his eye. We say "where's the spoon?" and he grins with glee. Then he triumphantly reveals the spoon from under the tray, holds it up over his head and gives a big toothy grin. Except sometimes he drops the spoon on the floor, or it gets caught somewhere along the way. His glimmer fades as he realizes he's losing the moment, and the triumph is a little muted when he finally succeeds (aided or not). But it's really something to see when he pulls it off. With an attentive and appreciative audience, and applied with the proper panache, this simplest of items contains all the magic you'd want in the world's best toy.

Pointing

Quinn points at everything now. Most times he just sticks his finger in some direction without event knowing what's there yet. He must realize we're going to begin naming things that are in that general direction.

He wakes up from a nap and immediately begins pointing in all directions, as if to say "We'll go over there...and then over there...and ooo there's a shiny thing over there and WHAT WAS THAT NOISE - we'll have to go check that out...gosh I've been asleep all this time - how much have I missed?? We'd better get moving!". Does that remind anyone of anybody? :) (not naming Bec's name of course...)

He's just soaking up vocabulary, it seems like. He listens intently as we describe everything. He's keenly interested in all the Christmas decorations, the things on the fridge, the things on the kitchen counter, the unending array of stuffed animals in his room, and, well, anything he can point his wildly waggling finger at. It's fun to watch him discover the world around him.

Phrases We Never Used Before, Part I

"Did you just pee on your toothbrush?"

(Part I of many I'm sure...)

Quinn Columbus

Quinn has entered the explorer phase. Boy has he entered it... He's into everything, and especially the things he knows he's not supposed to be in.

There is a small (~1.5" diameter) hole in the kitchen floor where an electrical wire used to pass through to the basement. When we redid the kitchen I took the easy way out and just covered it over with a tile, and over time the tile broke and got a hole in it. One of his kitchen toys is a wooden spoon. The other day Quinn discovered the hole in the floor and started reaming it out with his spoon, expanding it to the full size of the hole underneath. The next day he came back to the same hole with the xylophone mallet and dropped it through into the crawl space below. Looks like we've entered the Daddy-Retrieval phase of parenthood. Bec narrowly averted him dropping fridge magnets down the heating duct the other morning too.

He commando-crawls quite ably, and gets up on his knees to crawl occasionally now. He pulls himself up on furniture quite strongly now. That skill developed from nothing to quite capable in the short span of a week - the rate of development really is quite staggering! Before we know it he'll be staggering around on his own.

A little sickie

Quinn's had some minor sniffles before but this is a full-on cold. Mucousy cough, very stuffed up nose, *very* runny nose. Even a minor nosebleed, which caused some consternation - hopefully increasing the humidity in the house curbs that. This illness came out of the blue - he wasn't showing any signs of anything all day yesterday, but as he went to bed there were a few signs, and there were signs in spades this morning.

Telehealth Ontario is a great thing. This is probably not a case where we would have gone to a doctor, but it's nice to have the reassurance of being able to talk to somebody. I'm sure our emergency rooms have been filled with such naturally concerned parents.

Quinn is sedate and a little clingy but still in pretty good spirits. He can still laugh with proper prompting and point at things. He's a better sickie than me I think!

An attractive toy

Magnetic you might even say... Quinn has just discovered magnets on our filing cabinet. He's been playing away happily, learning to attach the magnets and take them off again, making his "interested" growling sound the whole time.

Apparently his growling sound is quite unique, according to a drop-in worker today. He growls all the time, with different inflections seemingly implying different meanings. He's in a verbal phase again after coming through a big physical locomotion phase.

He has also cottoned onto pulling himself up to standing these last couple days. He does so with aplomb now, and doesn't even look proud of himself any more, having mastered the skill for over 24 hours now.

Quinn and Luther (our 16lb black cat) were playing together today, unstaged. Quinn had his "light-saber", a 4' long pipe insulator, and he was waving it around. Luther, lying nearby, started batting at it. Quinn was quite interested by that, and started purposely waving the light-saber near Luther, and giggling when Luther batted it. It went on for 10 minutes or so. It was sort of like that moment I imagine when one's first kid and second kid play together for the first time unprompted. Hopefully it's a friendship Quinn and Luther will share for years to come.

The Right Amount of Falling Down

Quinn has started pulling himself up on everything. Our furniture seems to not be conducive to pulling up, but a dining room chair on its side seems to be helping. It's amazing to watch the innate drive to stand and walk. It's also a little nerve-wracking. Our new downstairs hardwood floors are great in some aspects, but they are slippery for little feet and hard for little heads.

It highlights the fact that the right amount and right type of falling down is essential in learning how to walk. I fear him falling and hurting his head on the hard floor and I tend to hover when he pulls himself up. But he needs to learn that falling is ok, that there is a right way and a wrong way to fall, and that if he keeps getting back up long enough he'll learn how to walk.

So I try to walk the fine line between allowing him to fall but preventing major injury. It's one of the many challenges of judgement in parenting. I'm sure it will recur over and over in various incarnations over the years.

Went Snuffelupagus On Me

Bec, Quinn and I attended a First Birthday party for one of Quinn's friends yesterday. They had a batch of helium balloons and when Quinn caught sight of them he stared at them. I picked him up and we walked over to them and he spent about 10 minutes batting at the balloons like a speed bag, grunting and making his Interested Sound. He was so into it he was working up a sweat.

Quinn got one of the balloons out of the deal and he just loved it. It was pink but I was calling it Very Light Red. Anyway this morning the helium balloon had lost a little steam, causing it to drift around the house just below ceiling level. Quinn was transfixed. Over the next little while it lost even more such that it hovered about floor level. Quinn was completely fascinated with it and played with it for about 25 minutes straight, which is an eon when you're not quite a year old. He'd bat it up in the air and it would slowly drift back down. He'd stare at it, galvanized. He'd bat it across the room and then go chase it. He'd carefully grab the tether and bat the balloon repeatedly and get a great big grin on his face.

I thought this was all interesting enough to capture on video. I grabbed the little camera and started recording. Suddenly Quinn stopped doing anything and sat and carefully examined the balloon. After a minute of boring footage I stopped recording. Quinn immediately started batting the balloon and doing interesting things. I started filming again. Quinn began a thorough examination of the balloon again. So I don't have the video proof, and you'll just have to take my word for it that it really was quite interesting to watch his reaction to the balloon.

He's got a point there

Quinn has started pointing at things. He's sort of been able to follow where we're pointing for a while now, but today is the first time I saw him point at something. This is a quantum leap forward in his ability to communicate, since he's able to point at things he's interested in, and we can name them and take him over to see what he's looking at.

It brings up a curious aspect of human nature - the desire to share something one is interested in with another person. I wonder why that is, exactly? I guess from an evolutionary point of view it helps to point out danger or food, but there seems to be a happiness angle associated with it that transcends those reasons. At its best it results in idea sharing and mind expansion; at its worst it leads to foisting one's ideas on others.

I should be careful with my pointing. He's got a point there.

Congrats Cousin Cliff!

Congratulations to my intrepid Cousin Cliff the particle physicist, who was inducted as a Fellow of the Royal Society of Canada this weekend past. Here's the writeup from his citation:

"BURGESS, Clifford - Department of Physics & Astronomy, McMaster University
Clifford Burgess is a renowned expert in the applications of effective field theory. As a theoretical physicist he has had an impact on an unusually broad range of fields including superstring theory, early universe cosmology, particle phenomenology, astrophysics and condensed matter physics. With over 120 published articles, he is one of Canada's most prolific and highly cited particle theorists."

Cliff and his family were kind enough to include me as a guest for the reception and banquet. A fine time was had by one and all, and it was great to see the Burgess clan. Congratulations Cliff! That's quite an honour! Now about that committee work... ;)

Tooth #4

Tooth #1 was brutal. Combined with an 8-day stretch where Quinn pooped exactly twice, it was as difficult a stretch as we've faced. Teeth 2 & 3 were not nearly as bad - both upper front teeth, with an endearing gap that gives his frequently-wielded smile an earnest and slightly Bobby-Clobber comical look. But Tooth #4 is on its way now, and while it's not as bad as #1 was, it's a bit reminiscent of it. He was up early this morning, wailing for an hour or so starting at 4:20am.

Yes 4:20am. And that's only slightly earlier than normal. Normal is 5am, with only minor variations. We finally got him advanced to 6am only to get a solid kick in the arse from the blasted time change. Back to 5am it was. Bec absorbs the brunt of it, bless her soul, allowing me to function for work. I'm usually up at 7am though, to get to see him for an hour or so before I go to work. He has slept slightly longer - almost as long as most books recommend as the minimum - when he has been sick with a cold. It's almost enough to make us dangle him in front of all passersby sporting colds (but not quite...).

Periscope up!

Quinn's new favourite thing is to stand up on his knees and look out over the edge of the tub during bathtime, then sit down, and then repeat, over and over. Every time he gets up on his knees I say "Periscope up!" and he grins. Unfortunately he also does this in his crib, which may be partly why he melted down in the hands of his aunt last night, who kindly babysat for us while we went out to celebrate our anniversary. It took him a while to settle last night, but he shows no ill effects today. It remains to be seen how much the event scarred his mother but so far it doesn't seem too bad.

Quinn has no fear of the water. Coming from a land where the water routinely kills people I think this is a good thing and a bad thing. Hopefully he inherits his mother's natural waterskills that his father doesn't seem to have in spite of growing up in, on or near the water. Until we determine that for sure we'll continue to keep a close eye on him as he bellyflops fearlessly into the tub from the "Periscope up" position.

The bee's knees

Just today he's gotten even more focus in his eyes. He now not only notices things and studies them, but he gets this really curious and inquisitive look in his eye, and he wants to be over there RIGHT NOW to check it out in more detail.

Out busy little bee gets up on his knees quite easily now. Just today he seems to be much more stable on his knees, allowing his hands to operate more independently. Using this newfound skill, he is better able to get things out of his toy drawers, and he is becoming expert at getting the DVDs out of the entertainment unit drawer. In his eyes, it's the bee's knees.

Mobility

It's been awhile. Too long. Many factors, but nothing serious, thankfully. Anyway, Quinn is mobile now. He crawls around on his belly, pulling himself with his hands. He can move from sitting to his belly and back. Today for the first time, he started to tip over in the bath, but caught himself by putting his hand out and pushing himself back up! Very impressive.

He also really loves being read to. He can concentrate intently through a half dozen books at a time. He'll crawl over to the pile of books in his play area and try to get at them, indicating he wants to be read to. Sometimes he even picks out a book that he wants read. He will turn pages when prompted.

He's particularly fun when reading the book "Goodnight Moon". There are several pages in colour, and some of them have a red balloon in the picture. Whenever we get to those pages, he points to the balloon and rubs the picture of the balloon, staring at it. But whenever we turn to a page that doesn't have the red balloon in it, he immediately turns the page after scanning for the balloon and determining it's not there.

He's really learning a lot these days, and developing a personality to go with it. He's a smiley, lovey little boy. May that last for years to come.

Lotsa Laughs

I got home a little late from work tonight, but I still made it home before Quinn's bedtime. First we had a horsey-ride, with mommy holding Quinn up while daddy got down on all fours and carried Quinn around, which he loves. Then we choo-choo-trained our way up the stairs which got some giggles. Then came bathtime with new bathtoys and more smiles. Then mommy played 'elbow' on the change table with him - for some reason he giggles when we point our elbow at him and say "Elbow!". We finished up with some bye-bye / peekaboo through his bedroom doorway.

It takes the exhaustion right out of a long workweek to be able to come home to a happy, smiling family. Life is good.

Mommy vs the noseboogers

Bec is constantly on the lookout for Quinn's noseboogers. Quinn hates it. He will do anything to avoid having his mom pick his nose. I can't say I blame him a whole lot. However there is one part I just don't get - I can understand many of the built-in baby instincts, but I just don't get babies' natural aversion to having their face washed (of which the nosebooger-picking-aversion is a close relative, I'm sure). Quinn has *always* hated having his face washed. I just don't get it.

Well, we have 80% of the downstairs hardwood floor job complete. It should be complete tomorrow. It's been some upheaval for the last few days but it looks fantastic. Quinn seems to approve as well - he can push himself backwards on the slidey hardwood at a pretty good rate. It's not going to be long before he's crawling.

Thinning out

No, not my hair. Quinn is. He now has less chins than a Chinese phonebook. I wouldn't go so far to say only one chin, but definitely less chins. He doesn't seem taller but maybe he is a little. After being off the growth charts for the early going, I suspect he's back on them now. Not anything alarming I don't think - he could stand to have less rolls on his knees. Perhaps the standard charts don't reflect breastfed babies' growth rates - I seem to recall reading something in the news about that awhile back.

That thing he does

Quinn does this hilarious thing where he muckles onto his mother's face with both hands and then pounces on her chin with his mouth. It's really quite dramatic. It's usually followed by her rubbing her chin on his shirt to dry her face off and saying "rub, rub, rub!" which sends him into giggles. Now it's like he knows it's coming when he starts to go after her chin as he seems to have a glimmer in his eye from the outset. And the mere mention of the words "rub, rub, rub" bring a smile to his face even out of context.

I wonder if he thinks he's kissing his mom like he sees his dad do? Or maybe it's just a positive association thing for him now. We'll never know. It's pretty cute though.

Almost 8 months old

Quinn's almost 8 months old. Amazing. Time really flies. Why don't all of us measure age in months? Otherwise time just sort of passes by without noticing. Maybe if we all measured our ages in months it would make us appreciate it more. I'm almost 467 months old. See, that has a pretty good ring to it. As we get older and stress about our ages more, stating our ages in months removes all the stigma in our own minds and in others' minds because the number has no meaning.

I'm surprised the commercial world hasn't grabbed hold of this idea because buying everybody a gift every month would be a financial gold mine. Maybe this is the way out of the current global financial crisis. The monthly birthday. You read it here first.

It's not about the ducks any more

Quinn made a beeline for the toy drawer when I put him on the floor in his room before bathtime. Then he got distracted by the jolly jumper bar that knocked a couple cans with paint-can-style lids over, dislodging one of the lids. He got ahold of one of the lids and it was his new favourite thing. He took it into the bath. He held it throughout the bath. He held it after the bath and completely ignored the rubber duckies except for a few shovel-like bats at them with the lid. He held the lid after the bath to the change table where he held onto it during the wrestling match known as dressing and diapering. He then shrieked mightily when it was taken from him before bedtime. Is the rubber ducky era over? Who knows? Watch this space for further gripping developments...

Beyond calf roping

Ok, it's beyond calf roping now. We're more into wrestling-hold territory. Bec hasn't had to yet, but even she's dreading changing a full-on poopy diaper solo now. And that's at home let alone out and about. Upon being put on the change table, he immediately does a quick spin/roll to get onto his belly. With one of us to pin his shoulders and the other to pick up his feet we can usually get a poopy diaper off without spraying it around the room and everybody. He's constantly twisting and turning while looking at everything while holding onto something while grabbing for something else while kicking his feet while whacking the wall with whatever's in his hand. Mayhem.

He's pretty cute though. And interested in everything. That is a good thing most of the time currently, which may downgrade to some of the time when he officially achieves mobility. I'll try to focus on the upside.

Bec commented that we didn't properly appreciate the inanimate blob months when we were in them.

Big Pooper

I changed my first #2 diaper in awhile yesterday. I can now definitively say that the moniker "little poopsie" is no longer accurate. Quinn will henceforward be known as "Big Pooper". Other monikers still hanging on are Little Boobeedoop and its derivative Little Boop. "Little buddy" and "little bud" make some occasional verbal appearances now, but I think Little Boobeedoop will be the one he gets made fun of with when he's a teenager.

It's been a great weekend. Today he was pretty much a brochure baby, sleeping late, napping easily and long and timed perfectly to mesh with bedtime. He's in *so* much better spirits and is so much more capable when he's rested. Why can't all days be like this? I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree - I've been cheating sleep for decades now. I'm doing better now though, getting to bed *much* earlier so I can get up earlier to spend time with Quinn, and get home from work earlier to see Quinn and help out with bedtime.

We managed to get Bec a big sleep Friday night and yesterday. Are Quinn's matching big sleeps a coincidence? Who knows. There are always so many variables with a kid this young. He changes so rapidly that you can never pin anything directly together and instead have to rely on feelings and instincts. Today was a great day though so I'll dwell on that for now.

Permanence, temporarily

Quinn has learned object permanence. The upside of this is that he knows when an object goes out of sight that it still exists. The down side of this is that he now knows when mommy is out of the room. That does not go over well with him, especially when he's tired.

Which is most days these days it seems. We thought we had going-to-bed and naps pretty much nailed, and we were working on through-the-night and wakeup-time. Then everything went to hell again - naps got really short, meaning he was overtired all the time and sleeping fitfully because of it, resulting in a downward sleep spiral that we're still trying to extract ourselves from. Poor Bec is bearing the brunt of it again.

As part of the solution, we're trying to get him to bed earlier. So far it's not having much effect but it's early yet. What it means for me is that I get up at 7 and leave work at 5 (both unheard of times for me, those that know me will attest) and still don't see much of Quinn during the week.

Hopefully these too, are temporary, and shall pass.

Diaper change = calf roping

Quinn twists and turns and grunts and wiggles so much on the change table that it is pretty much a calf roping contest to get his diaper changed. Gone are the days where he just lay there like a blob.

Nature provides you with a pretty natural progression actually. For Diapers 101 for the first while, the poo is pretty pedestrian and the movement complication is minimal. You figure out how the diapers go on, how to get clothes on and off and try to avoid being peed on. For Diapers 201 you add the complication of doing it "under fire" while the baby shrieks at you. In Diapers 301 you add the particularly stinky poo and trying to keep their feet out of it. I think we're now at Diapers 401, where he thrashes about constantly in the roll, pitch and yaw axes, whether he's trying to reach toys, trying to look around, or just because he can. Soon he'll have mobility, which I'm sure will add a whole new dimension.

On the weekends it's a bit of Diaper Roulette as we alternate diapers - if he's on Day 3 of his two-days-off, one-day-on pooping cycle, it makes for particularly exciting wagering. Bec does the vast majority of diapers, which makes it particularly exciting when my turn comes around. I certainly notice a difficulty difference from one to the next, but so far I've managed to avoid any undue excitement.

Travelling without moving

For a little guy that's not officially crawling, Quinn gets around. It started about a month ago with what we referred to as "Hands" / "Pushup". The "Hands" part is where he lays on his belly and gets all four appendages in the air while waving his hands. The "Pushup" part is just as it sounds - he pushes himself up with his hands. The Pushup generally leads to him sliding backwards a little. I don't think he has put together that he can move with this mechanism, but I think he understands that when he does "Hands" / "Pushup" (usually with our verbal encouragement) he generally ends up with something new to look at.

He can now navigate clear across a room by rolling over. He can even retrieve a toy that's gotten away by rolling and incorporating half-twists as required. He can get up on all fours occasionally - especially in his crib - and he pushes himself backwards a little bit. He's so mobile in his crib I swear he needs a queen-sized one. Originally he was quite keen to chase the cats but he seems to have lost interest in them, choosing instead to eye the toy basket in the living room and the toy drawer in his room. He already has a strong tendency to get into things he shouldn't. It won't be long before we'll be asking ourselves why we were so keen for him to learn to crawl.

Our first date in 7 months

Quinn's Aunt Caitlin came over last night to babysit after he'd gone to bed, and Bec and I went out for our first date in the seven months since Quinn was born! Being a holiday, the nearby good restaurants were closed, but even the local pub seemed like luxury after all that time. Even though the pub is only blocks away, we drove to facilitate a quick response time if Quinn awoke. Bec was pretty good at being relaxed and not checking her cellphone every 5 minutes. We had fun!

When we got back we checked Quinn on the video monitor and I don't think he had even rolled over since we left. Caitlin has offered to do it more often, and next time we'll go to one of the *real* restaurants in the area. Woohoo!

Terrible Twos at 7 Months?

Quinn's taken to having little fits whenever we take something away from him. I've heard that "terrible twos" can actually happen at a wide age range. Could we be entering that phase at only 7 months? I think this kid is going to be a handful...

Perth Fair

Quinn had a pretty good time at the Perth Fair today. We met his grandma and grandpa there. He saw some horses, lots of people and rides and colours and heard lots of sounds. He went for a ride on the choo-choo train. For the first lap he was engrossed in trying to eat the safety restraint, but the second and third laps it looked like he had more fun. I think he's going to have a lot of fun at fairs in the future, even next year.

We also went to a BBQ at a friend's place last night, and there were lots of people there, including a lot of other kids. Bec & Quinn went home early for his regular bedtime, but he seemed to have lots of fun just looking at everything and taking it all in while he was there. Last night, as today, he seemed quite sedate and just absorbed everything he was seeing, hearing and smelling. It's interesting to watch him take things in now that he's so much more cognizant.

A glossy brochure kind of day

It was Quinn's friend MacKenzie's first birthday today and there was a gathering at Britannia Park. We thought we were going to miss it entirely due to an almost two hour nap this afternoon - of course: any other time we wouldn't care and he'd sleep short. But people were still there when we showed up two hours late.

At first we thought we'd missed them and we tried Quinn in the big framed backpack carrier. He loved it! He bounced along and giggled away merrily and didn't even puke down my neck even once! Then we found the party and he was enjoying looking around at everybody and everything. He was especially taken with balloons, which he saw for the very first time. He batted at them and grabbed onto them and watched them move in the breeze. Then the party broke up and we went for another walk in the backpack. Britannia Beach is a windsurfing mecca on the Ottawa River and there were lots of windsurfers and kite sailors. There were people flying kites. There were people walking tightropes. There were lots of people who were quite taken with our giggling, laughing son who was clearly enjoying the best ride of his life.

Of course after all that he just didn't want to nap. He was exhausted when we got home. We rushed him through dinner, bathtime and nighttime routine and got him to bed. He fell asleep in about twelve seconds. I think this was the best day so far of his young life. *This* is the kind of day they show in the glossy brochures.

Working like a dream

Quinn has gone to sleep the last three evenings without any crying whatsoever. Tonight I put him in bed and put my hand on him to comfort him (part of the New Sleep Plan) and he pushed it away as if to say "I got it daddy, I can go to sleep on my own now". It usually takes him 20 minutes to settle (15 tonight!) but he does it all on his own now. I still hang out with him for awhile as per the plan but it really feels unnecessary now and I think I'll try phasing that out.

There will undoubtedly be setbacks for teething and illness, and there may even be periodic regressions for no explainable reason, but we've seemingly turned a significant corner. I honestly wondered whether we'd ever see this day. He's always been better at night sleeping than napping, but he always cried some on the way down until these recent days. I thought that was just the way it would always be.

Napping has been a disaster, but we've changed tack and it's going better. Most books say that naps of less than 45 minutes aren't restorative and you should train them to nap longer. Sounds nice in theory. Quinn appears to be what one book describes as a 'touchy' daytime sleeper, hard to get down and hard to keep down. He would scream at Bec on the way down for an hour or more. Then he'd sleep for half an hour. Then he'd scream at her for another hour as she tried to extend the naps. Then she'd phone me at work, a basket case. We finally abandoned it as infeasible. He sleeps quite well at night so maybe he doesn't need as much napping. We'll assume he'll take what sleep he needs through the day until proven otherwise by late-day crabbiness, which hasn't been a factor yet. Changing tactics and expectations has improved everyone's demeanor, creating an upward spiral where before we were clearly in a downward spiral.

Abandoning cry-it-out was key for us, and I think it incurred a couple weeks' penalty to recover from the error. Paying less strict attention to the books and adjusting expectations was also key. Some family help and support through last week from Bec's family was absolutely crucial in changing the downward spiral to the upward variety. I'm sure there will be more sleep challenges to come but it feels like we've finally achieved some first fundamental level of sleep success.

Sleep training the trainer

I've been exhausted. I went to bed early tonight. I woke up at 3am and it's 5am now and I'm still not sleepy.

Maybe I should cry for an hour and exhaust myself to sleep. Maybe I should sit in a chair by the door and move it in small increments towards the bed before finally getting into it and slumbering off to sleep. Maybe I should get in bed, get out for a few seconds, get back in repeatedly until I fall asleep.

My favourite option would be to have three long naps tomorrow (um, *today* I guess) but that probably wouldn't go over well.

Lumpy sleep progress

It went ok for a few days and then it got bumpy again. All in all it's going well but he still really resists sleep. Bec had him going down for two long naps then a short nap and all was well. Yesterday he did two short ones then a long one, which stressed Bec out - not enough nap time means a crabby overtired Quinn. Today he woke up early (6am) but was still really tired, napped shortly thereafter for medium length for his first nap, and then really resisted going down the second time. Every day is another struggle with sleep.

Kids just don't know how to go to sleep when they're born. They don't show that part in the glossy brochures. It caught us by surprise and has dominated our life with Quinn for, well, just about 3 solid months now. Apparently some kids naturally take to sleeping. I don't have much to compare to, but I suspect Quinn is a worse-than-average sleeper.

I put him to bed using PU/PD last night for the first time. It actually went pretty well. He was asleep in 45 minutes but only about 15 minutes of that was crying, and even that wasn't strident. That was wayyyy better than I expected. It actually felt pretty good - like I was actually teaching him how to go to sleep. That's not to say it's going to be easy, but making an effort to try to teach him something is a philosophy that is much more liveable for all of us. At least that's the current theory. It's a continuous evolution.

Thirty years ago it was easier in one way, in that there really only was One Way and that was crying it out. Listening to crying would have been hard but since there only was One Way there was never any doubt about the approach and the only thing to do was Get Through It. It was like ripping off a band-aid. And millions of people turned out just fine this way, for the most part.

Today, like a communist-era Russian in a western supermarket for the first time, we're faced with a dizzying array of choices. Some are different ways to rip the band-aid off; some seek to avoid the wound requiring the band-aid in the first place (and make you feel guilty about incurring the wound requiring the band-aid in the first place); some are a mix. All tout scientific support; most of them conflict with one another; all trash-talk one another; and all of them are criticized by anyone from the One Way era.

But we want to do what's best for Quinn and our family as a whole - faced with choices that could possibly improve the quality of life of child and parents, what parent would not at least consider the choices? But what is valid and what is snake-oil? What will work for Quinn and what won't? What will work for us and what won't? We're left to try to find something that works for all involved by thinking through the sleep-deprived fog, where the problem definition changes seemingly daily, progress is inconsistent and the feedback is ambiguous. And oh yeah - inconsistency is even worse than pursuing a bad way to the end, so we need to get it right quickly.

It's easy to be overwhelmed by it all. In general in my life I'm trying to Do Something Right Now or Forget About It Until I Can. Right now he's been asleep for 49 minutes and that's not bad.

Finally some sleep progress...

Bec's using the Baby Whisperer Pick up / Put Down method (PU/PD) , and finally something is having a good effect. The cry it out probably would have worked if we'd stuck to it long enough but it was really hard on everyone. The first couple days of PU/PD were hard but then he responded quite well. Yesterday and today he had two good long naps. Tonight he went to sleep without crying, and largely settled himself with minimal intervention! I never ever thought it would go that well. I'm sure we'll have relapses - the cry it out went ok for a week before problems set in. I imagine we'll particularly have problems when I start to take over settling duties (he always prefers his mom...).

He's in noticably finer spirits through the day for getting more and better sleep. When I got home tonight was particularly special, with him all smiley and giggling. He was especially interactive, and was looking intently at everything around him. It's a noticeable difference when he's getting enough sleep.

Different strokes for different folks - but this particular stroke seems to be one of genius for Quinn-folk.

The NotThatDaveMatthews Sleep Plan

We've read the Dr Sears Sleep Book. We've read the No Cry Solution. We've read The Mother Of All Sleep Books. We've read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We paid for and achieved marginal success with what basically was The Chair Method variation of the Partial Extinction method. We've read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Sleep Problems and we're about to try the Pick up / Put Down Method. If none of that pans out we're going to try the NotThatDaveMatthews Baawk Like A Chicken Sleep Plantm.

It works like this:

• When you put your child down and they start wailing, start bawwking like a chicken. Match your volume level to theirs.
  
• For particularly loud wailing, add the arm movements. For uncontrollable screeching, actually sing the Chicken Dance and do the actions.
• Most likely, they will be so confused by this action that they will forget why they were crying. At the very least they should pause.
  
• As they ramp down, ramp down your volume as well, fading to a chickadee 'peep'. Stick in a quiet "buck buck" at the instant they look like they're about to ramp up again.
  
• If they start again, match your Chicken Baawwking to their volume level as they ramp back up.
• After 10 repetitions, get a glass of water. It takes a lot out of a person to baawwk like a chicken for that long (the chickens make it look so easy...)
• After 20 repetitions, get a glass of scotch. Obviously you need a little more pizzazz in your Chicken Baawwking.
• Once you have the sleep association well implanted, a few well placed buck-buck's will suffice for nighttime sleeping *and* for naps.
• Over time you'll find your child will fall asleep when driving by a KFC or in the cart when going down the egg aisle at the supermarket.

This is as yet only tested on a small scale but I'm confident enough that it will work to start a full-blown book. A few charts, a couple quotes from some experts and trash talk all the other sleep book writers, $29.95, and presto, coming to a Chapters near you.

Quinn as AD&D Character

Characters in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons are defined as having a set of attributes whose values vary from character to character, and which can be modified by certain equipment. The attributes are Strength, Dexterity, Agility, Wisdom, Intelligence, Charisma. They can range in values from 1 to 18, where 18 is the best. (For those who thought the old board game AD&D games were long dead, they are alive and well in modern role playing video games, where the computer does all the dice rolling and checking, eliminating the tedious pencilwork.)

Here is my description of Quinn in terms of AD&D attributes:

• STR: 3 He can deliver a good solid whack to his mother's nose, and give a serious tug to his her hair too.
• DEX: 3 He's picking things up one handed; he's coordinating picking things up with both hands; he can reach accurately for things; he can stretch to pick things up that are just out of range. He can also reliably push any unwanted food (that is, most) back out his mouth.
  
• AG: 2 He's just started to spin around on his belly;
• WIS: 1 Only age brings wisdom...
• IQ: 2 He's very attentive when read to; his behaviour is largely conditionable; he follows toys or people out of sight.
• CHA: 3: Extremely cute and interactive, but still has tendency to let long farts at the dinner table.

He's got quite a few hit points for his age, maybe 12, as evidenced by his buddha hanging out over his Charisma +1 Belt and his 95th percentile size and weight. I'm not sure about Class yet but I'm guessing Paladin given his parents' propensity for truth and honesty. We'll stay on the lookout for special abilities.

The Phases of Rubber Duck

We've just tonight entered the Third Phase of Rubber Ducks. The first, as previously noted, was all about the Big Yellow Duck. Then it was all about the two Little Duckies, chasing them around, picking them up and chewing them, culminating in reclining in his bath hammock chewing languidly on one or both Little Duckies.

Tonight we hit a new phase - whacking the rubber ducks regardless of size, colour or location. Whacking things has been his new Thing Evaluation Method of late. I think he noticed tonight that whacking things in the bathwater produces a different result than whacking things elsewhere, and he was intrigued with the difference. He whacked them all over the tub, he chased them around, and finally he "abduckted" one to keep with him upon exiting the bath. Who knows what the next phase will hold?!

Books

Bec was visiting friends with a son who is two weeks younger than Quinn. They were surprised that we were reading to Quinn already. I hadn't thought about it for awhile, but I do remember reading that they can't fathom the whole book thing until a later age. But I also remember thinking we'd try it anyway just for kicks. He has liked them quite a bit from early on.

He has definitely gone through stages. In the early going he was more fascinated with the lyricalness of the reading, so we read more complex books like Dr Suess that had some rhyme and meter to it. He'd just notice the book sometimes when his eye roved around the room. Then he wanted to eat the books, then whack them. A turning point occurred when someone suggested to us that we didn't necessarily need to read a book from start to finish, or even in order, and that letting them look at pages for extended periods and handling the books was encouraged too. After awhile he'd put his hands on the page as if to stop me from turning it; he'd look at the page for awhile, and then remove his hands as if to tell me it was ok to turn it now.

At first I read mostly the same four books. Sometimes it would only be one, sometimes more, sometimes I varied the order. Three were simpler ones and one was Dr Suess's ABC (which was hard to find!) in a simpler board-book edition. His attention span would vary but it definitely got noticably longer over time. Now he sits up with rapt attention and looks at the pictures, and I describe some things shown on the page. He absolutely loves being read to.

His Aunt Caitlin gave him this great gift for his half birthday - a small story book that is attached to a glove with five finger puppets; the story involves the five finger puppets. Quinn absolutely loves it. He looks back and forth from the book to the puppets, and you can see the mental hamsters running as he puts the 3D and the 2D together in his mind. It's amazing to watch his mind develop, and books have been a great vehicle for that already.

Reverse Gear, Tongues and Other News

Apparently Quinn pushed himself backward a little today. Mobility can't be far away! He's also started sticking his tongue out, following in a fine Simpson family tradition. He has pretty much mastered sitting up, which makes playtime a lot more fun, especially during Rubber Ducky Time at the end of baths.

Luther (our 18lb black cat) is bravely interacting with Quinn regularly. He's soooo patient. We're feverishly trying to teach Quinn to give him gentle pats, which is a bit anathema to him as toy tabs bear a disturbing resemblance to cat ears. He's doing pretty well though, he just doesn't always pay attention to what he's whacking.

Speaking of whacking, that appears to be his second Thing Evaluation Method, after sticking it in his mouth. Everything goes into his mouth, except solid food, which has been a struggle. He seems to be liking the taste of banana, but applesauce, cereal, beans, sweet potato and everything else has met The Big Rejecto. He doesn't seem to have put together the connection between food going into his mouth and swallowing, and he certainly hasn't connected solid food with hunger going away. But as Bec pointed out, we're establishing patterns and rituals more than anything at this point. It's just the Sleep Plan that's putting pressure on the solids. We've decided the sleep trainer is a (expletive deleted) but we can't argue that we seem to be getting results.

Sleep training is going...ok I guess. Some spectacular success, some minor setbacks. He usually cries on the way down some each night (tonight was very minimal though). He's had a few night wakeups and a few early wakeups, but he makes it through the night more often than not. The crying is hard on everyone when it occurs though, making the setbacks seem to carry more weight in my mind. But all in all it's going quite well I think. I wish there was a better way but I don't honestly believe there is.

Bathtime: I have seven jobs

My jobs during bathtime:

• I run the water and check the temperature
• I fetch the required equipment and paraphernalia (including the peepee-teepee - important equipment)
  
• I line up the rubber ducks (also very important...)
  
• I sing lead for "Rubber Ducky, You're the One"
• I sing backup for "Splish Splash I was Takin' A Bath"
• I periodically pump soap for mommy.
  
• I man the towel and act as "catcher" at bath end.

Of course, none of those are the most important job but we'll just gloss over that fact :)

Quinn's First Document

Quinn is really mastering the computer keyboard now. His first creation:

gbn 4fg c ccsc ccccccccccccccccccccccccccn r ,k9,,1
;?ilk..yio 6
.00

(minus about 7000 spaces...)

That's about as intelligible as my 185 page design document. And more entertaining.

He also managed with a single whack to hit ctrl-alt-del and lock the computer. Amazing. Computer gurus sat up nights dreaming up a sequence that would be difficult to create by accident, and here Quinn got it in about 10 whacks.

Next project: Quinn and 9,999 friends create Shakespeare.

Sleep Training, Night 4

He cried for 24 minutes tonight and was asleep shortly thereafter. Right thing and converging series notwithstanding, this is still hard. In some some people's lives it is normal to be yelled at for half an hour every day. It is not in mine. Combined with a difficult handoff and a hard deadline of the end of this week for my job transition at work, I am a basket case. In getting Quinn to nap long enough during the day to promote night sleeping, Bec has to wear Quinn during all naps. That, and the timing and length of the naps, means she isn't able to get much exercise or go to all her mommy group activities that have provided her with such a valuable support network. Combined with 15 months of accumulated exhaustion, she is struggling too. And I feel powerless to help.

And this is just one kid. How do people do it with two? Or more, jeepers, I can't even imagine it.

He slept til 7am again this morning though. If we can all just make to next week maybe it'll all be ok...

It's about the Big Yellow Duck

Quinn loves bath time. His parents sing to him, he splish-splashes in the water, and best of all, he has his yellow rubber ducky. There are two ducklings that go with it, but they have never even entered into his consciousness. After he's all clean we sit him up so he can play with his ducky, which he is content to do for quite a long while. He chews on its head, he bats it around the tub, he watches its lights flash (it's a high tech ducky...). It's all about the Big Yellow Rubber Duck.

Sleep Training, Night 3

He slept all night last night, including sleeping in til 7am! Tonight he cried for almost half an hour again. There was a lot more Mad this time, but also more lulls near the end. I hope the crying will go to zero at some point. Bec said she had the best sleep she's had in 7 months last night. It's going to take more than one night's good sleep to put her back to right, but we're on the right path now, I'm sure of it.

Sleep Training, Night 2

He cried for 30 minutes and was asleep by 45 minutes. From a mathematical point of view, the series is converging. From a human point of view, the crying was louder, madder, sadder, had less lulls and started immediately.

It's almost like he goes through the Kubler-Ross stages of grieving. There were definite bouts of anger crying. There were definite episodes of bargaining/pleading crying. There was definite sad crying. Perhaps the lulls signify denial. But finally there was acceptance, with a big sigh followed by him drifting off to sleep.

I suppose something is being lost, that being the closeness he had with his mother all night long. However that was no longer sustainable for Bec, and Quinn sleeps better with less night interruptions too. This is a necessary transition. On the one hand I think of breaking a mustang (of the hooved variety); on the other I think if you never house train a dog it just craps on the floor its whole life. So long as the mathematical series continues to converge, we'll all be better off.

Independence Day

Night one of Sleep Training went far, far better than we ever could have imagined. It took 50 minutes for him to go to sleep, but he didn't cry for all of that - it was probably about 35 minutes. Bec woke him up to change him and feed him at just before 11 pm. He went back to sleep without a single peep, and then he slept until 630 am! Barely a peep out of him through the whole rest of the night! Amazing!

Of course Bec & I slept on pins and needles. There was one interlude at 530am where Quinn started to stir. I checked the video monitor and he was trying to roll himself over from his stomach to his back. This is a skill he has only recently learned and he hasn't mastered it enough to usually be able to do it by himself at night. However, our recently purchased Sleep Plan said helping him turn over was verboten, so Bec & I were glued to the 2" video monitor screen quietly cheering Quinn on as he struggled to roll over. He eventually made it. Then he went back to sleep. We were so proud.

I think we happened to choose the perfect time for sleep training, quite by accident. He has established a strong bond with us - there was a change around the time we went to NS where his crying became less desperate when he needed something. It's like it transitioned to a signal from an expression of fear. I think he now knows we are there for him when it matters. He has developed the physical skills to hold his head up and roll over both ways. He has developed a large enough stomach capacity to make it through the night. We have been observing a consistent bedtime routine for a month, and he has been sleeping reliably on his own for several hours in the evenings for most of that time. However, the bedtime routine hadn't gone on so long that it was completely entrenched. It was the Right Time, and I'm glad we didn't do it sooner.

I am desperately stuggling to not have high expectations for the coming nights. While one night went far better than we imagined in our wildest dreams, it doesn't constitute complete success. I'll put my emotional helmet on again tonight and we'll see how it goes.

Playing "Block"

Quinn's got pretty good mastery of sitting up now. He tips over some but all in all he's got it pretty much nailed. One evening this week I was sitting on the floor with him while he played with a soft block about 4" cubed. It got away from him some and I flicked it back toward him. He giggled! A game was born... I kept flicking the block back at him and he kept giggling, breaking into a full belly laugh when the block got him in the nose.

I think we'll get a lot of miles out of playing "Block" in various incarnations over the years to come.

"Get well" felt in heart

Arnie update: he's making a wondrous recovery from his minor heart attack. It's amazing what they can do these days - it's just like a plumbing problem now. He'll be scaling Mount Tamarack again this winter for sure.

Sorry to leave you hanging, audience! All is well.

What it's all about

One day last week my old whiplash injury reared its ugly head while I was at work. I couldn't even drive home. I phoned Bec to come pick me up. She and Quinn arrived and I got in the back seat alongside Quinn. Apparently he was at the end of his rope, and his lip was extended in full quivering pout. But when I in my pain, and Quinn in his throes, caught sight of one another, we both broke into big grins. Somehow our respective problems seemed diminished.

I guess that's what it's all about.

Sleep training, Night 1

It took 50 minutes of crying, but he went to sleep in his own crib, in his own room, without a boob in his mouth, with me at his bedside trying to look disinterested. Hopefully that was the worst of it. It actually hasn't been too bad so far. He got up to maybe a level 8 out of 10 wail, maybe a 9, but only for a few seconds, and it was followed by a lull.

It seems brutal somehow, but he already seems to be adapting. Hopefully the end of something means the beginning of something else - I think sleeping on his own will be better for everyone. Quinn will sleep better. Rebecca will sleep better.

I'm glad to be contributing to this enterprise too. Bless her soul for doing almost all the work, but I think Bec was about to impale herself on her sword on the path we were on.

The artist formerly known as Poopsie

Apparently the Poopsie moniker is not currently accurate. It's been a few days now, and even that one was the culmination of a few days' accumulation. We're not certain there's cause for medical concern, but we *are* certain there's cause for diaper changing concern. There's no way one diaper will contain three days' worth...plus his first solids. Wish us luck at swimming tomorrow. Maybe I'll let Bec go in the water with him :)

He continues to scowl at solids and keep coming back for more. So long as there's still room in there, we'll continue offering them to him.

Speaking of that, gotta go get some solids of my own. Haircut tonight, got home late. Missed bathtime - might have to get my haircuts and other errands done sometime other than on the way home from work.

Solid!

Quinn had his first solid food today. Some cereal of some sort. Apparently he screwed up his face and scowled and then came back for more. Sounds just like when I started drinking beer, coffee and scotch (not all at the same time of course...). Let the stinky diapers begin.

Bec and Quinn came to meet me at work for lunch today. We spread a blanket on the lawn under a tree and had a little picnic. It was brief due to an impending nap (or alleged nap...I think Bec struggled to get him to sleep it turned out) but it was thoroughly enjoyable nonetheless. A welcome break from boring old documentation writing.

I've started getting up earlier to take Quinn for awhile in the morning. Those who know me know that's a lot of love :) Me and mornings just don't get along. It's good to get some Quinn-time early though - I'm finding seeing him for 20 minutes in the morning and and hour at night difficult. It's hard on Bec too, especially since it's work to get him to sleep and keep him asleep every time. I'm trying to work it so that I get home early to spend some time with him before he goes to bed, and then (theoretically) work after. So far the working at home part hasn't panned out, but it's not been desperately necessary yet either.

We invested in a sleep plan from an "expert". It looks pretty much like I thought a sleep plan would look. We'll see how it goes. I think we're going to start not this coming weekend, but the following one, to give him some time to adjust to solid food first. And time to steel ourselves for the wailing in advance. Lord knows, he'll have much more strength to wail with those solids in him.

A belly sleeper like me

Quinn recently learned to roll onto his belly. Now he loves to sleep on his belly, much to our chagrin (due to the SIDS risk). Even worse, he can't roll back onto his back, so when he wakes up and wants onto his back, he cries until he's rolled back over.

In spite of the vagaries, I have to say I am a little proud he's a belly sleeper. I'm a belly sleeper too, and it somehow makes me a little proud that he is something that I am too. He is just beginning to show some traits, and one of them we have in common. It could be a coincidence - he couldn't learn that from watching me I don't think, and could belly sleeping really be hereditary? But I like to think it's more than coincidence.

Quinn also likes to curl his toes like his mom. I never even knew Rebecca did that until I remarked on how Quinn was doing it one day. May he inherit the best traits from each of us, and come up with a few of his own too.

How much to help?

Quinn loves his Exersaucer now. He really plays with the toys on it now. He can really recognize and remember things now - he remembers his exersaucer, his blocks, his plastic giraffe. He even recognizes the books I read to him each night - he always smiles when I bring out "What's wrong little Pookie", his current favourite.

When he was in his exersaucer this morning, the microphone toy got pointed away from him. He was struggling to get it back within range so I moved it back towards him several times. This evening he was in it again and Bec pointed the microphone back towards him a couple of times. Then when we were eating in the kitchen while keeping an eye on him in he exersaucer in the living room, we saw him turn the microphone back around all on his own.

Now, it's a bit unusual for him to be that much on his own to play, but here he was learning to do something independently. It brings to my mind a question: how much to help one's kid out, and how much to let them figure it out on their own. I guess that will be a lifelong question and I won't always get it right, but I hope I/we achieve the right balance.

An impromptu bath

If yesterday was The Mother Of All Poops after 3 days' constipation, then today was the Aunt. It took an unfortunate half minute to notice, and thus we need to wash:

• the Exersaucer
• the Playmat
• Quinn's clothes
• Rebecca's clothes
• Rebecca
• Quinn

At least we can take solace in the fact that things are moving again...

Balance

In spending any amount of time with Quinn, in thinking about what to do next with him, I think about what he has already done that day or what might be coming up, and try to choose something to do that will balance his day. For example, if he has not had much touch time I'll pick him up and walk around with him; or if we're going to a family get-together where he'll be held a lot, I'll give him some self-time on the floor. If he's been laying down a lot I'll sit him up in a kid-chair for self-time. If he looks bored sometimes I'll get him a toy, but sometimes self-time without a toy encourages him to explore his fingers or experiment with his voice. Sometime I talk to him, sometimes I echo his utterings, and sometimes I'm just quiet and listen to him. Sometimes I actively adore him and sometimes I just go about what needs doing with him watching - passively adoring him. The list of examples could go on and on.

Mothers seem to do all this very intuitively and instinctively. Sometimes I have no idea what to do with him next, but sometimes I feel some of the same instincts. The more time I spend with him the better I get at it. This was one of the single largest benefits of my month off.

Interestingly, I don't always make these balancing choices for myself, and as a result I suspect many of my days end up out of balance. I also suspect that over time, intuition guides me to do things that create the required balance. It would be probably be an improvement though, if I could actively and consciously balance my days better.

Spoilage?

Yesterday at swimming, one of the things the instructor was suggesting was to put a floating toy in the water and have baby grab it; then once that pattern is established, put the toy under water farther and farther until they accidentally put their face in the water without realizing it. A clever ruse. The problem is, Quinn doesn't reach for the toy - he just opens his mouth and steers his mouth towards the desired object and some nearby adoring adult sticks the desired object into it. No dummy, this kid. Methinks we need to rethink our approach to prevent spoilage though.

Another trick I've heard is blowing in their face to make them close their mouth before dunking them under water (this is for a more advanced stage than we're at with Quinn now...). That will be problematic too since he loves having his face blown on, and opens his mouth and laughs with glee. I can see we're going to have to be on our toes with this kid as the standard tricks won't always work.

A sleep-in for mom

Bec's been exhausted lately, so this morning I was able to afford her the luxury of sleeping in, and I got up with Quinn. He was a little dopey this morning - must be from all the stimulation yesterday. He has just fallen asleep again now, in the swing. It's a bit of a strange sensation to be the only one awake in the house in the morning. It happens every evening but somehow it feels so much different in the morning. In the evening, that time is my play time. In the morning though, I feel like I am doing something for the benefit of my wife and child.

Nighttime is my territory; morning isn't. In my morning stupor I forgot to change his diaper first thing. I was suitably reminded by a leak stain on my shorts. Oh well... It will be interesting to see whether Quinn is a nightowl like me or a morning person like Bec. Early indications seem to be the former.

Quinn, happy guy

We took Quinn swimming for the second time today. He smiled a little more, but really he's having a hard time noticing anything but the ceiling fans. It's really quite remarkable the predilection he has for them. We went straight from swimming to see Bec's mom, and then on to the Carleton Place hospital to visit Bec's dad. It's official - he's had a minor heart attack. He looked and sounded great today though, like his old self. He's off to the Ottawa Heart Institute on Monday and hopefully things will be rectified in short order.

We didn't take Quinn in to the hospital, much as Quinn and Grampa wanted to see one another. Bec & I traded off visiting and hanging out outside with Quinn, and when we visited a second time I hung out on the front lawn with Quinn while Bec went in. Quinn just LOVED sitting on the grass, standing on the grass, running his hands through it. He's improving at sitting up but still tends to tip over some. He's also improving at bearing weight on his chubby little legs.

Quinn had a lot of smiles and laughs today. He really seems to have a happy disposition, which I am quite glad to see. He went to sleep pretty easily tonight, and didn't require any interventions throughout the evening for the second night in a row and fourth out of five. Almost six months old! Hard to believe...

A heartfelt "Get Well"

Quinn's Grampa Simpson is in hospital with heart troubles - get well Grampa! Things appear to be well in hand, and hopefully things proceed speedily to a healthy conclusion. Apparently he got to use his Crackberry some today so that should head off any withdrawal heart issues...

The prospect of a hospital visit has me softening my stance on vaccinations for Quinn. Quinn's 6 month birthday is coming up and we were more than likely going to start them anyway, but this issue pretty much cinched it. After researching it some, it appears mercury isn't used in vaccines any more, so that's not an issue. The autism rate appears to be growing astronomically whether people have vaccines or not, so that appears to be unrelated (although it's difficult to get hard facts on this issue...). Overwhelming their little immune system can be eased by spreading out the vaccines some rather than having them all at once (some writeups would have you believe the impact isn't much anyway). I worry that getting one's immune system permanently turned on leads to future problems like allergies or autoimmune diseases but there is no direct evidence of such that I know of. So we'll get him vaccinated. All we can do is make the best decision we can with the information we have at the time. And try to put out of our minds what the source of the information is or might be...

I managed to survive my first three days back to work. I was even productive. When I got home each day though, I was VERY excited to see Quinn, and the enthusiasm rubbed off on him I think - he laughed and giggled as we played when I got home. He's figured out how to roll over again (back to front) and he loves to do that. He's finding his voice too. I'm afraid he's not going to be softspoken.... Yesterday it sounded a little like the last rasps of a sword-stricken soldier; today at least it began to sound less grating.

A fantastic month

All good things must come to an end. My paternity leave comes to a close, and I return to work tomorrow. It has been a fantastic month.

We drove to NS and back, spending two weeks there. My fears of how Quinn would handle the drive were happily for naught, as he proved to be an able adventurer, with the proper handling. The more leisurely pace was easier on everybody. We had some great quality visiting time with my family there. For Quinn, the stimulation of having all the family around, especially his nana and grampy every day, lead to a Great Leap Forward in development it seemed. The bonding with his grandparents really made my heart glad, as I remember my grandparents fondly and I'm sensitive to the fact that my parents had me relatively late in life and we had Quinn relatively late in my life.

When we got back, we elected to stay home instead of going camping, but I think it was valuable in establishing a daily routine. Each day contained some chores, some errands, some fun, some adventuring. I started the break with a list of goals as well as a ToDo list, but I was determined to keep the focus on being with Rebecca & Quinn and not on doing things around the house. As it worked out, I got almost everything done on my list anyway.

I've heard the first three months of a baby's life referred to as "the fourth trimester" and I now know exactly what they meant. Quinn spent all his first three months just growing. That's it, that's all, just growing. He shot up to 28" in length and 20lbs during that time. In the time since then his physical growth leveled off and he has started really developing dexterity and intelligence. From that standpoint, the time I chose to take off was perfect. I got to see him roll over for the first time and I got to see the pride in his eyes when he could do it repeatedly. I got to see him learn to recognize books and songs and rhymes. I got to see him stand (supported) for the first time and want to do it over and over again. I got to see him swim for the first time.

He has made great strides in terms of sleep, even if it's still a work in progress. He can sleep on his own now for several hours in the evening, freeing us, and especially Rebecca, to resume some normal life at a normal pace. The transition into the crib is still in the opening skirmishes but I'm optimistic. We have established a bedtime routine that seems effective and enjoyable for all. He is doing well at learning how to sleep.

Best of all, I got to become a fixture in his everyday life. I got to know the daily routine that he goes through, so that when I return to work and only see him first thing in the morning and a little bit at the end of the day, everything will now be in a bigger context for me. I got to take part in the establishment of those routines and got to see us turn a corner where it finally became apparent that this really wouldn't be 125% work for the rest of our lives.

It all seemed so well balanced which seems so difficult to maintain with work in the equation. I'm really hoping to maintain the same balance and attitude, but with 8 hours of work per day added. It won't be that easy, especially with starting a new position at work. However, it has been a valuable and productive time off, and one of the best months of my life. I will remember it fondly for the rest of my days.

A hearty Canada Day to all!

It was a gloriously sunny day, warm but not too warm, and not humid as it often has been recently. A perfect day. We decided to embark on a Canada Day excursion downtown today. We drove to Quinn's Aunt Caitlin's place and we walked downtown from there, hoping it would coincide with his nap, which it did, although short.

We arrived at the War Memorial and I took Quinn out of the stroller to look around. He has always loved big crowds and this day was no exception. I was surprised at how many people were out on Wellington Street that early - I'd take a guess at 30,000 when we arrived and probably 50,000 when we left. We went onto Parliament Hill and hung out on the front lawn. The changing of the guard was going on, followed by the RCMP Musical Ride which was amazing. Then we went to Major's Hill Park and found a shady spot to sit and rest - Quinn loves crowds but it's still important to get some Reset Time, a lesson it took his old man decades to learn :).

We had some snacks, lemonade and rest in the shade. We saw Prime Minister Steve's dark, ominous and fast motorcade steam by. We saw the magnificent RCMP Musical Ride horses walk down the street, followed by Governor General Mickey Jean in an open car. Quinn was getting tired again and lost it briefly during the 21 artillery shots. Bec rescued that one by holding him. When the F-18's went overhead at full throttle he lost it altogether - it was quite loud. You can't fault him really though - those are probably some of the loudest things mankind has to offer. The Snowbirds also went over in tight formation, fanning out radially as they passed over the Peace Tower - I've seen that from the 'Hill front lawn before and it looks like they all radiate out from the Peace Tower. Very cool.

After that spectacular display we set out for home. Quinn wouldn't settle in the stroller so Bec has to wear him in the Sling. It was a warm day for that, but he went to sleep immediately and had a 40 minute nap while we walked back to Caitlin's. We went to an Elgin Street restaurant for what turned out to be a reaalllllllly realllllly slow meal, but Quinn survived the 2 hours there like a superstar, if you disregard the absolutely massive blowout poop he had while I was holding him... Fortunately there were no suitable change surfaces in the men's washroom. Whew!

The car A/C was extremely welcome. We got home and had an Epic Nap, with Quinn sleeping for an hour and a half! Bec had to wake him up in order to have any chance of preserving a normal bedtime. After that he was in the best spirits and had the best playtime ever. He was playing and laughing and giggling. He rolled over several times on his own and looked Very Pleased with himself. Then bath and stories, and Bec's putting him to bed as we speak.

It seems he responds to massive stimulation with learning bursts. He did that during all the family stimulation while we were in NS. Bec was lamenting that she wouldn't be able to find 30,000 people to entertain him tomorrow, but I assured her that every day doesn't need to be a Big Learning day in order to be valuable; and that the things he learns from the loving attention of his mother on a daily basis are just as valuable if not more.

It was a great day of Adventuring! We had a happy Canada Day - I hope you all did too.

Swimtime!

The unfrozen-watersports contingent of my family will be happy to hear that Quinn loved his first "swim lesson". Of course, he was more galvanized by the ceiling fans than the actual water, but we're taking the ho-hum reaction to the water as a good sign. The lesson part is more to teach parents how to introduce infants to the water, and that part was definitely valuable. There were singsongs and bouncing games, which are things he just loves, and I think the whole water part was completely irrelevant to him.

It's good that it appears to feel like such a natural thing to him though. Hopefully he inherits his mother's aptitude and attitude towards the water - in spite of being on it or in it all my life, I've never been completely comfortable in it. I can swim, but Rebecca's a complete natural in the water.

I'm hoping that after a few lessons he'll actually get past the ceiling fans and notice the water. Lessons are Saturday mornings for I dunno how long (his mother looks after that part...). Watch this space for further reports.

Bedtimes

Since we've gotten back from NS, we've established a pretty consistent bedtime routine, and it seems to be quite effective. Bec changes him, I read to him, then sing to him softly, and then Bec takes him to bed and nurses him to sleep. That last step has taken awhile on a couple of nights, but it's gone quite quickly some nights too. Last night was about 10 minutes, although Bec hung around a few minutes to ensure he was good and out. Tonight he started looking tired before the proscribed bedtime so we started early, thereby hopefully averting any overtired owliness.

Teaching Quinn to sleep has offered some valuable insights into my own sleep. None of it is rocket science, but it seems easy to lose sight of it amid all the rush to get things done. Particularly, avoiding mental or physical stimulation before bedtime, establishing a wind-down routine, creating an atmosphere conducive to sleep, and just plain old going to bed when one is tired, are all valuable sleep promoters I'd overlooked in my own life. I'm having the best sleep of my life and I have a 5 month old son. Go figure.

We have the crib beside our bed now. We're hoping to soon be able to make the transition 3 feet to the right to get him from our bed into his own crib. It doesn't seem like a major leap to me. We'll see how it goes.

He seems sensitive to overheating in the heat & humidity we're going through currently. It makes sense I guess - all that insulating brown baby fat makes it more difficult for him to regulate his temperature. At least the fact that he gets all gross & sweaty is a good thing - it means his little body is doing what it can to shed heat.

We have rollover!

Quinn rolled over by himself for the first time today! We have been putting him on a blanket on the floor periodically and helping him roll over to get him used to the concept. Today Bec put him down and he rolled over with almost no help. So she teed him up again (he can only go front-to-back) and he did it again, this time with clearly no help whatsoever! He still needs a little push to get from back-to-front but I don't think that one will be long. He looked surprised the first time he did it, but then looked pleased as punch. Once we started cheering him on he got really into it, hardly waiting at all to flip once put on his stomach.

All the exertion wore him out though. He was a bear the rest of the day. He was a complete zombie tonight before bedtime. When I think about it though it's not much wonder. When I first started working full time and I was learning so much every single day, I was completely exhausted too. And the occasions where I've been immersed in speaking French (or trying to) I felt like my head was going to explode by the time the end of the day rolled around. So we'll cut the little guy some slack, put up with a little understandable crankiness, and start a whole new day tomorrow.

We aborted our camping plans in order to preserve our newfound and hard-won sleep progress. Now is just not a good time to take him to a new setting in a new sleeping environment, especially trying to get him to go to sleep in a tent at 730pm on the longest day of the year. We'll try camping in September maybe. It's important to get the right mix of exposure to new things and constancy, and we're just now establishing what that constancy *is*. I think there's a Life Lesson in that - and fortunately we didn't have to endure a wailing baby in a campground to learn it. Either that or we just chickened out :)

Routine adjustment

We're finding bathtime perks Quinn up, making him more difficult to get to sleep at night. Thus we're moving bathtime up so he can have some more playtime before bedtime routine. We'll see how that goes.

He's changing so much these days. He babbles away to himself much more. He's gotten much more dexterity. He has a plastic giraffe that he's quite adept at getting into his mouth. It's funny to watch - he sees the giraffe and immediately opens his mouth and starts sweeping his hand towards it, and if he doesn't get it into his mouth first try he gets quite agitated. He's much stronger now, able to sit up for a little while, and enough neck strength that you can hold him one-handed. You have to watch out for him launching himself though, arching his back suddenly and stretching out.

He's been particularly happy these past few days, smiling and giggling a lot. We think that if we hadn't been so attentive to him that he might have wailed enough to be called colicky (although it seems to me that most of those cases are inconsolable so maybe not). Whatever the case, he's definitely high needs. Colicky babies usually rectify themselves about 4 or 5 months of age, and I wonder whether non-colicky babies also go through a similar positive swing in disposition (are brain inter-hemisphere connections forming maybe?). Whatever the case, he's definitely fascinating to watch grow and develop. My paternity time off is definitely being a most enjoyable time.

Rubber duckies in a row

Quinn's nana and grampy recently rectified the fact that he was lacking any rubber duckies. He seems to really like them - we've used them for the last few baths and he studied them quite intently tonight. Of course, his parents singing the rubber ducky song completes the experience :)

Speaking of ducks in a row, he checked out just fine at his recent 4-month checkup (that took place just short of him being 5-months old, for various reasons). He's 95th percentile for height, weight and head circumference. Because he's clearly not lacking for calories, the doctor suggested we could continue to wait to introduce the solid food that he seems so interested in when adults are eating around him. While he's a big boy (19 lbs, 10oz, 70cm = 28") I wouldn't call him fat by any means. If he were average height but 95th percentile in weight I might be concerned. He got through his first illness while we were in NS - a cold - but currently he's healthy as a horse (how healthy is a horse anyway? I never got that one...don't they shoot horses when they're sick?).

We're quiet little parents...

We've realized in the last week or so that we are very quiet people. Quinn is easily startled by noisy people because he's not used to it. He was startled by his cousin Emily during an animated soliloquy while we were in Nova Scotia, and he gets a little overwhelmed sometimes by his animated Aunt Caitlin. It's good though, for him to be exposed to it from family, people he knows and trusts. He'll get used to it. Vehicle and ambient noise (like appliances) don't bother him because he's always been exposed to them. We just never really thought about it until now, but we really don't speak loudly at all around the house. It's part of the whole house-as-sanctuary thing I guess. He's startled by other kids' shrieking and rattles (of all things) at playgroups, which made me think that perhaps we need to take steps to get him used to the noise of the real world.

A sleep turning point?

For the third time in the last 5 months, Rebecca has had to choose to go to bed tonight. All other nights she's been held captive by Quinn. He's learning to sleep on his own. The last couple times it took a couple interventions to get him through a couple hours but tonight he just went to sleep and that was it. Bec is so used to just doing stuff until he stirs that she almost forgot to decide to go to bed.

She has changed tack the last week or so to nurse him to sleep when he's already in bed, rather than carrying him until he falls asleep. That, combined with finally abandoning the co-sleeper, I think has led us to this turning point. I now wish we'd tried this approach earlier, but oh well, better late than never. I haven't been able to get him to sleep at nighttime for a long time now and it's been difficult on Bec. I take part in the nighttime routine though, and the Plan is for me to get involved with the getting-him-to-sleep-in-bed process.

Does this perhaps mean we'll be able to get him to sleep on his own without having to cry it out? I'm not counting any sheep before they're over the fence but I'm certainly a lot more hopeful at this point. Tune in next year for the exciting conclusion.

Cosleeping risk, an engineering analysis

Provincial coroners are going on about the risks of cosleeping with one's baby. It's difficult to separate the hysteria from the facts, as "one kid died somewhere" gets widely reported but the tens of thousands of kids that safely benefit from it does not. I don't want to raise a kid leashed to the clothesline in the backyard with a helmet on, but I don't want to expose my son to unnecessary risk either. If the risk is remote, and/or able to be mitigated, there are advantages to be had.

I don't understand the bias of the medical community against cosleeping. I'm not militantly for it - we ended up there because it was the only way anyone would sleep at all in the early going, and we're on a track to get him into his own bed - but the rank bias of the coroner's report, the hysteria of the reporting, and the lack of hard facts really gets my back up. But pride and principle don't mean a damned thing if our kid dies, so we tried to establish the facts to determine if we had an imminent problem.

• In 2003 there were 130,927 live births to Canadian residents in Ontario (from Statscan). Numbers were similar in 2002. I am assuming numbers would be similar for more recent years. The Wikipedia entry for Ontario demographics indicates 671,250 children under age 5, which roughly correlates.

• The percentage of families that cosleep "always" or "almost always" was 25% between 1991 and 1999 according to a National Center For Health Statistics survey cited in the Dr. Sears book "The Baby Sleep Book". A further 42% slept with their baby "sometimes". Dr Sears is a major proponent of cosleeping so it's possible there is bias there but the number looks solid to me. At 25%, this would be 32,732 cosleeping babies in any given year.

• The 2008 Ontario Coroner's Report includes a section on infant deaths. They are mandated to investigate all deaths of children under the age of 5 (not all are full blown inquests but evidence from all are examined). They investigated 186 cases over two years; 77 involved "unsafe sleeping", of which 41 were "bedsharing" (their term for babies sleeping in an adult bed). Of the 41, 37 involved bedsharing with the baby and one or two adults; the other 4 also involved siblings (a recognized cosleeping problem due to various unpredictabilities of sleeping children). They did not break it down per year. It should be safe to assume half in each year - round up and say 19 bedsharing deaths in one year.
  

So that means 19 deaths per 32732 cosleeping children, or 1 in 1722, or 0.06%. I'd be more comfortable with another order of magnitude but that's less than one's lifetime odds of dying in a car accident (1 in 100!), by fire or smoke, or even by "falling down" according to one list.

But even that's not the whole story. The coroner's report states that of the 77 unsafe sleeping deaths, the sleeping positions were: 31 on stomach; 10 on back; 9 on side; 27 unknown. How those numbers map to the 41 bedsharing deaths is not stated. However, stomach sleeping is a known SIDS risk factor. Stomach sleeping deaths were 31/77 or 40% of the 77 unsafe sleeping deaths. If you exclude a similar ratio of deaths from the 19, we're down to 12 (rounded up). That would be 12 in 32732, or 1 in 2728, or 0.04%.

Furthermore, the coroner's report states a couple of other nebulous statistics: that 23 of the 77 unsafe sleeping deaths had been Children's Aid Society cases within the 12 months prior to their deaths. Also, drugs/alcohol were somehow involved in 14 cases. It's not clear how these map to the 41 cosleeping deaths, or the degree to which drugs/alcohol were involved. However, there is a definite implication there.

So if we put him to sleep on his back, keep neighbourhood kids out of the bed, don't drink or do drugs, and don't beat him (CAS), the odds of a problem look long to me. I'm open to the possibility that there is a problem with my numbers or assumptions, but from what I can tell, I'm comfortable that cosleeping with my kid is just fine. We're on a trajectory to get him out of our bed anyway.

I'm going to bed with my wife and kid.

To NS and back

Not quite "to infinity and beyond" but Buzz Lightyear has a better marketing department.

We just got back last night from two glorious weeks in Nova Scotia. It was Quinn's first major road trip and he did pretty well with the car travel part. He had minor meltdowns through Montreal in both directions, but then again so do I so you can't really blame him. Maybe he picks up on the tenseness in the car. We did the trip in two days in both directions and stopped a lot, sometimes for an hour or more. It all made it very manageable. We tried to time it so that we were in motion whenever he was about to go to sleep. Then when he awoke we would usually have about 15 minutes before he needed to stop, which Bec could manage to extend to half an hour with a full-time distraction effort. By the end of the trip back he was having some quiet happy time on his own in the car seat which gained us some more miles, but he was also sleeping less which offset that advantage. Day1 of the trip back he slept in some large chunks - likely due to the full-court-press of family stimulation of the preceding two days - and before we knew it we had achieved two thirds of our distance objective with one minor stop. It took a couple of major stops to get the rest of the way, but the time pressure was off by that point.

Traveling with a 4-month old really changed my outlook on travel. Instead of being focused on the destination and going like mad, I was focused on Quinn and the needs of our family. It made the trip a lot more pleasant instead of the grueling haul I used to make it. We were open to making it three days of travel in both directions this time if it needed to be, which further took pressure off each day. Of course this particular time we have the luxury of time since I don't need to be back to work until July.

I'll write more about our time in NS as I have time. For now it's time to take our little Buzz Lightyear off to the doctor for a routine checkup.

What a week

I'm now officially on 4 weeks' paternity leave. I'm sure looking forward to it. The run-up to it was brutal though - I was trying to squeeze in a large-ish work task before I left, and ran into a couple unexpected wrinkles. With some stellar help from others, I got them sorted out in record time though, especially for a defence firm. Hardware bugs just usually don't get sorted out in 4 hours there.

On top of all that, I had a job interview for another position within the company on Monday. On Thursday that became an offer. That is also record time for a defence firm, but I think the knowledge that I was away for 4 weeks probably accelerated things (plus the interviewers are ex-telecom...). Ostensibly it was an offer good for 3-business days, but as I was leaving it was effectively 24 hours. There weren't a lot of specifics cited which added to the stress. I talked to Rebecca, I talked to my brother, I talked to one of my interviewers again, and I decided to go for it. It's a leap - both a leap of faith given the unknowns, and a technological leap as it's an architecture position. I'll be over my head for awhile, but it seems like good people and a great opportunity to learn something new. I need a challenge. The timing's not great given the aggressive schedule of my current project but if one waits for the perfect opportunity at the perfect time it'll never happen.

Anyway, the upshot was two really long and stressful work days to finish the week. I saw Quinn briefly in the morning and I saw a very tired Quinn last thing before his bedtime. He mustered the faintest of grins through his overwhelming overtiredness. I missed him, and I think he missed me too. I missed two whole days of his life and he's only had about 120 of them so far. I don't want to do that again. It was a valuable lesson in the face of looming work pressures involved in my new position - that I need to enforce that my work is not going to take over my life. Historically I have immersed myself in my work when required but now I have to find the proper mix. It will be a challenge, both at work and at home, but there are ways to do it.

We're off to Nova Scotia tomorrow for two weeks. I am approaching the 12 hours of car travel with a 4-month old with a significant amount of trepidation. He's been an able adventurer so far but this is a lot to ask of a kid that young. We're aiming for 2 days' travel time, but if it takes three that's OK too. We figure we have about 9 usable hours in his day and if we can travel 6 of those 9 we can make it in two days. We'll see how it goes.

Life is just one great big challenging adventure isn't it? Let's see what tomorrow brings...