Sleep Training, Night 4

He cried for 24 minutes tonight and was asleep shortly thereafter. Right thing and converging series notwithstanding, this is still hard. In some some people's lives it is normal to be yelled at for half an hour every day. It is not in mine. Combined with a difficult handoff and a hard deadline of the end of this week for my job transition at work, I am a basket case. In getting Quinn to nap long enough during the day to promote night sleeping, Bec has to wear Quinn during all naps. That, and the timing and length of the naps, means she isn't able to get much exercise or go to all her mommy group activities that have provided her with such a valuable support network. Combined with 15 months of accumulated exhaustion, she is struggling too. And I feel powerless to help.

And this is just one kid. How do people do it with two? Or more, jeepers, I can't even imagine it.

He slept til 7am again this morning though. If we can all just make to next week maybe it'll all be ok...

It's about the Big Yellow Duck

Quinn loves bath time. His parents sing to him, he splish-splashes in the water, and best of all, he has his yellow rubber ducky. There are two ducklings that go with it, but they have never even entered into his consciousness. After he's all clean we sit him up so he can play with his ducky, which he is content to do for quite a long while. He chews on its head, he bats it around the tub, he watches its lights flash (it's a high tech ducky...). It's all about the Big Yellow Rubber Duck.

Sleep Training, Night 3

He slept all night last night, including sleeping in til 7am! Tonight he cried for almost half an hour again. There was a lot more Mad this time, but also more lulls near the end. I hope the crying will go to zero at some point. Bec said she had the best sleep she's had in 7 months last night. It's going to take more than one night's good sleep to put her back to right, but we're on the right path now, I'm sure of it.

Sleep Training, Night 2

He cried for 30 minutes and was asleep by 45 minutes. From a mathematical point of view, the series is converging. From a human point of view, the crying was louder, madder, sadder, had less lulls and started immediately.

It's almost like he goes through the Kubler-Ross stages of grieving. There were definite bouts of anger crying. There were definite episodes of bargaining/pleading crying. There was definite sad crying. Perhaps the lulls signify denial. But finally there was acceptance, with a big sigh followed by him drifting off to sleep.

I suppose something is being lost, that being the closeness he had with his mother all night long. However that was no longer sustainable for Bec, and Quinn sleeps better with less night interruptions too. This is a necessary transition. On the one hand I think of breaking a mustang (of the hooved variety); on the other I think if you never house train a dog it just craps on the floor its whole life. So long as the mathematical series continues to converge, we'll all be better off.

Independence Day

Night one of Sleep Training went far, far better than we ever could have imagined. It took 50 minutes for him to go to sleep, but he didn't cry for all of that - it was probably about 35 minutes. Bec woke him up to change him and feed him at just before 11 pm. He went back to sleep without a single peep, and then he slept until 630 am! Barely a peep out of him through the whole rest of the night! Amazing!

Of course Bec & I slept on pins and needles. There was one interlude at 530am where Quinn started to stir. I checked the video monitor and he was trying to roll himself over from his stomach to his back. This is a skill he has only recently learned and he hasn't mastered it enough to usually be able to do it by himself at night. However, our recently purchased Sleep Plan said helping him turn over was verboten, so Bec & I were glued to the 2" video monitor screen quietly cheering Quinn on as he struggled to roll over. He eventually made it. Then he went back to sleep. We were so proud.

I think we happened to choose the perfect time for sleep training, quite by accident. He has established a strong bond with us - there was a change around the time we went to NS where his crying became less desperate when he needed something. It's like it transitioned to a signal from an expression of fear. I think he now knows we are there for him when it matters. He has developed the physical skills to hold his head up and roll over both ways. He has developed a large enough stomach capacity to make it through the night. We have been observing a consistent bedtime routine for a month, and he has been sleeping reliably on his own for several hours in the evenings for most of that time. However, the bedtime routine hadn't gone on so long that it was completely entrenched. It was the Right Time, and I'm glad we didn't do it sooner.

I am desperately stuggling to not have high expectations for the coming nights. While one night went far better than we imagined in our wildest dreams, it doesn't constitute complete success. I'll put my emotional helmet on again tonight and we'll see how it goes.

Playing "Block"

Quinn's got pretty good mastery of sitting up now. He tips over some but all in all he's got it pretty much nailed. One evening this week I was sitting on the floor with him while he played with a soft block about 4" cubed. It got away from him some and I flicked it back toward him. He giggled! A game was born... I kept flicking the block back at him and he kept giggling, breaking into a full belly laugh when the block got him in the nose.

I think we'll get a lot of miles out of playing "Block" in various incarnations over the years to come.

"Get well" felt in heart

Arnie update: he's making a wondrous recovery from his minor heart attack. It's amazing what they can do these days - it's just like a plumbing problem now. He'll be scaling Mount Tamarack again this winter for sure.

Sorry to leave you hanging, audience! All is well.

What it's all about

One day last week my old whiplash injury reared its ugly head while I was at work. I couldn't even drive home. I phoned Bec to come pick me up. She and Quinn arrived and I got in the back seat alongside Quinn. Apparently he was at the end of his rope, and his lip was extended in full quivering pout. But when I in my pain, and Quinn in his throes, caught sight of one another, we both broke into big grins. Somehow our respective problems seemed diminished.

I guess that's what it's all about.

Sleep training, Night 1

It took 50 minutes of crying, but he went to sleep in his own crib, in his own room, without a boob in his mouth, with me at his bedside trying to look disinterested. Hopefully that was the worst of it. It actually hasn't been too bad so far. He got up to maybe a level 8 out of 10 wail, maybe a 9, but only for a few seconds, and it was followed by a lull.

It seems brutal somehow, but he already seems to be adapting. Hopefully the end of something means the beginning of something else - I think sleeping on his own will be better for everyone. Quinn will sleep better. Rebecca will sleep better.

I'm glad to be contributing to this enterprise too. Bless her soul for doing almost all the work, but I think Bec was about to impale herself on her sword on the path we were on.

The artist formerly known as Poopsie

Apparently the Poopsie moniker is not currently accurate. It's been a few days now, and even that one was the culmination of a few days' accumulation. We're not certain there's cause for medical concern, but we *are* certain there's cause for diaper changing concern. There's no way one diaper will contain three days' worth...plus his first solids. Wish us luck at swimming tomorrow. Maybe I'll let Bec go in the water with him :)

He continues to scowl at solids and keep coming back for more. So long as there's still room in there, we'll continue offering them to him.

Speaking of that, gotta go get some solids of my own. Haircut tonight, got home late. Missed bathtime - might have to get my haircuts and other errands done sometime other than on the way home from work.